The Girl and the Falcon
by Ysmira
Summary: This is the story of a young woman who got a chance to change her life, and the history of whole world. How much will she change? Will her presence make things better or worse? ! The story is left for now, but not abandoned. I will probably return to it some day and then it will be rewritten. If you are willing to wait, feel free to read. If not I recomend not starting it now.
1. The Choice

This is my first fanfic and also the first in English, which is my second language, so I`m sorry for any possible grammar mistakes or wrong tenses. I`d appreciate any comment with constrictive criticism. Hope you`ll like it.

edit. With a help of amazing beta-reader Cathieu there will be much less stupid grammar mistakes, so thanks a lot!

* * *

I was walking down the grassy path leading to the distant forest, its eaves shimmering in the sun. The trees were a wave of deep golden and emerald green. Their leaves were rustling in the warm wind of late summer and the birds were singing their songs, some in the hoarse voices of ravens and crows, other in shrill, lighter tones, resembling larks, blackbirds or nightingales. The rain was dropping from few dark clouds and the rainbow was beginning to appear on the sky.

'Such a beautiful scenery' I thought. 'Pity my life doesn`t look like this.'

My life. This series of disappointments and failures. All this hard work, only to be on the top in one moment and then be tumbling down in the other. But I shook off these dark thoughts, as I always do. There will be time for that later, when I return home to this small village on the eastern coast of Britain, where I`ve been living for five years. Sometimes I missed the weather in Poland, where rain was occasional occurrence, at least in place I used to call home. But, besides the nice weather, I left behind only my memories and the shreds of childhood. It would be pointless to come back now.

Then I heard a distant cry in the skies. I looked up, smiled and remembered that one`s existence can`t be just the line of sorrow.

"Alcar!" I cried. Then I braced myself, when I saw winged shape diving from the heights. I held out my hand, armed with the thick, hard glove and waited. Soon the beautiful gyrfalcon caught my arm, and delved its claws in the glove. His feathers were snowy white, with dark spots on his wings. He waved his wings a few times and finally caught the balance. Then he looked at me with his deep, dark eyes and issued a shrill cry. I laughed when his thoughts reached my mind. I saw the sight of the forest from the heights and my image, the tall woman with dark hair and brown eyes. I sensed his sympathy, devotion and biting bands of hunger. I had this ability as long as I can remember, though only with animals that choose to open their minds for me. I think I could enter their thoughts without their permission, but why do that? I preferred to win their trust and maybe even friendship. Though I`ve never acquired such strong of a connection with any animals, as I had with my gyrfalcon.

"Hungry, my dear?" I asked, knowing the answer. "Can`t catch any prey today?" I`ve never liked hunting very much, but I understood this need in some animals, so I wasn`t trying to control it. 'Today, it seems, I must feed him myself.' I thought. I pulled the meat out of my bag and gave it to Alcar. He devoured it greedily and shrieked happily. I almost forgot about my problems. His comforting presence has always had a good effect on me.

I`ve already reached the forest, so I walked with him between the trees and decided that today I wouldn`t be troubling myself. Today I wanted to have nice day with my feathered companion. The forest air was crisp and fragrant and I inhaled deeply.

Then something strange happened. And 'strange' is the biggest understatement of the world. The sun faded suddenly and the forest sounds were dulled. The fresh fragrance disappeared entirely and I felt as if some dark veil covered the world. Alcar`s thoughts were full of amazement and anxiety, but strangely, not fear.

Suddenly everything became paler and, in some way, lighter. Then I felt overwhelming presence, like I was an ant in the shadow of the whale. My senses sharpened, but my eyes were hazy, orwas it the world that was fading? Suddenly I heard and sensed the Voice. It radiated through my veins, thumped in my ear drums and whole world was rumbling and whispering, echoing its tones. But it wasn`t evil. It was like the colliding planets in its mightiness, like the universe in its broadness, as bright as thousands suns and as dark as the Void. I was terrified, but I knew the presence didn`t want to hurt me. Then He spoke to me:

"_**Welcome, Eruhín, my child. Do not be afraid. I am here to speak and to offer. You must listen to me, but to accept or to refuse is only yours to decide."**_

'Why he is calling me Eruhín? It means... means... yes! 'the child of Eru'. But it can`t be...'

"_**Your mind does not misleads you, daughter of the Earth. But you may call me as you choose. Names does not reach me, only intentions."**_

'But how is it possible? This name is used only in books. Yes, the amazing and beautiful ones, which I love, but it should stay there, shouldn`t it?'

"_**Some stories considered as fiction in this world are the shadows or reflections of distant planets and even universes. However, none of these brings the whole truth about the being they describe, but barely touches their nature. Except of the history of Eä. It is the only tale accurate enough to be true, leaving the impossibility in describing the story of lives of all beings that world gave birth to. It is because Eä was the first and most elaborated of my creations and all worlds are her descendants, though only here, on Earth, the other Atani were born."**_

His words were incredible and nearly unacceptable, in spite of the fact that I knew there were true. I didn`t know if it happened because I was always open-minded or because the will and help of Eru, but soon I accepted them, and with them the existence of a much broader world than that in which I was used to living.

"_**Now, when your mind knows the truth, I have the offer for you. The story of Eä, as you know, is very complex, where joy and sorrow mingle with each other in every life, every tale. But it has only one course. I want to change that without interfering directly in lives of those, who were born there. The reason is the utter secret and not yours to know. But I am offering you the chance to go there, be the part of the new history of the First World. Your presence will change the history of Eä, making two of them, one with you and one without you. You can save lives or you can destroy them, but remember, though every evil will finally give good fruits, as I told Melkor after Ainulindalë, you have only one life and one fëar and when you go there you must accept all limitations and laws of this world. I cannot guarantee you long life or happiness. You also can not expect my help, because I will not interfere myself in this world, unless the Valar will ask for it. Your fate will be in your hands and in your hands alone. Knowing this, do you accept my offer?"**_

I couldn`t believe what I was hearing. This was so huge, so unbelievable that I was chosen to do something like this! I think I would have declined, because this responsibility seemed too big for me, if it wasn`t about Arda. My life wasn`t really exiting or happy until that day. But then I had a chance to start again and where? In Arda, the world I`ve loved since I`ve read about it in Tolkien`s books!

"Yes... I accept. But I have so many questions..." I spoke out loud the first time in this conversation. I wasn`t so terrified of his presence now, though one can never get accustomed to it.

"_**I fear we do not have time to answer them. I am glad you accepted. Now, listen to me. You can ask for two things but in giving them to you I will have to obey my own laws I have imposed on Eä`s fate. You can also choose the time and location, when and where you will first appear in the history of Arda. Choose, then."**_

Despite my whirling thoughts I managed to stay calm and to really think about this. What would I like to have? The it hit me. I`d never choose it in different situation, but in this case...

"Could I be immortal? I`m not asking for this because I fear death, but because I don`t want to leave Arda so soon, as all normal humans must."

"_**If you want to be immortal, you will have to become one of the Eldar, the Firstborn. But then you will never return to this world, because of the Eldar`s strong connection to Arda. And you will suffer the consequences, the fading and the burden of past and memory. Are you sure you are ready for this?"**_

"Yes." I answered firmly. You must me certain, when making such choices or not make them at all.

"_**So be it, then. And the second gift?"**_

I`ve already decided. I looked at my gyrfalcon, who was silent all this time and was looking at me with those deep eyes. "I want to take Alcar with me. He has been my friend since I moved here. I would like to have a familiar soul there."

"_**It is unusual choice. But it will be granted. Your companion can go with you. He will grow stronger and greater and your bond with him will tighten as will your ability to understand the beasts of Arda. He will be able to carry your senses and even your fëar and he will never leave your side as long as he lives. But remember that no life is eternal, even the lives of the Elves. Now about the time..."**_

This was the hardest decision. My first thought was about the First Age, the Age of Beleriand, lands of Hithlum, Gondolin, Nargothrond... and Angband. But there were too many battles, too much sorrow and I wouldn`t know where to go or, more importantly, how to survive. Maybe it will be better to leave those lands as they were. So, I chose the 1000 year of the Second Age, because the fate of Eregion changes then, the land where Rings of Power were made...


	2. Awakening

The sun was shining through my eyelids. I heard the birds singing around me and the bubbling of the distant stream. It was quite warm and I felt as if I had been sleeping for a long time. I opened my eyes. The trees. Everywhere. I was lying on the edge of the little glade, speckled with flowers of white and gold. The sun was shining through the leaves, which were shimmering with light green.

"Where the hell I am?" I whispered quietly to myself. My memories were beginning to return to me, but in this moment my haid was totally empty.

_~ It looks like a forest to me.' _Sounded playful voice.

I looked around. There were no one there. Am I starting to getting crazy? "Who`s talking?" I asked uneasily.

_~ It`s me, Talia! Look up!_' I heard a strange shriek in the skies.

What? I looked up and then I saw him. The white bird, the size of a big eagle, diving from the skies and opening his silvered beak in the cheerful cry. Just above the ground he spread his wide wings, stretched out his silvered claws and landed gracefully on the ground. He looked at me with his dark eyes alight with golden twinkles.

"Alcar! It`s you! And you can speak to me with words! But, how?" I recovered from the initial shock and regarded him with awe. "You are so big..." I added. He was almost seven feet long from the tip of one spread wing to the other.

_~ Greater and stronger, remember?' _He remarked, sharpening his beak on the nearby stone. I observed him, noting every detail. The bird bigger than an eagle, covered with shimmering, white feathers, armed with silvered beak and claws and watching me with his dark eyes in which flickered the golden sparks. The dark spots on his wings were glittering in the sun with many colours, like peacock eyes. Magnificent. The most beautiful being I`ve ever seen.

_~ I wouldn`t mind you standing here all day and watching me with admiration, but don`t you think we should consider our location?`_ He asked me, chuckling in his mind.

I pulled myself together and regarded my surroundings. The small glade, with white and golden flowers, the bubbling stream crossing it on the other side and trees, surrounding the clearing. Trees looked normal, like in the ordinary forest far from big cities in England, or Poland. One thing I knew for sure.

"It`s not Lorien. And probably not Aman." I remarked.

~_ Well, this is the discovery of the age'_ commented Alcar cynically. `_Bearing in mind that Lorien in Middle-Earth got his mallorns after Galadriel settled there for good in like 1400 year of the Second Age, which is not yet.'_

"And when did you become such an expert in the history of Arda?" I asked, irritated. The bird isn`t gonna lecture me!

_~Maybe it`s strange, but I remember most things you`ve learned or done, even if you don`t remember some.' _He narrowed his eyes. Yes, he actually did it._ 'So, do you want to know where I think we are, or will we be standing here all day? I`ve woken up earlier than you did, so I had time to fly around.'_

"Yes, please, enlighten me." I said with tired voice. This was going to be a long day.

_~ So, we`re in forest, as you`ve already concluded. On the south are some low hills, on the east are very high mountains, that stretch as far north, south and east as my eyes can see. To the west lie marshes created by something that looks like an inlaid delta of a river. The north is the most interesting, there flow the waters of the two rivers, one that creates the marshes, and one that is its southern tributary. Between them lies a city.'_

"If those peaks are the Misty Mountains, which is quite likely, then we`re on their western side. The city... Two rivers, marshes and mountains... Yes, this should be the Ost-in-Edhil, the capital of Eregion! So we`re very close!"

_~ Yes, we are. We can go there soon, if you want. But firstly...' _Alcar looked at me with a flicker in his eyes. _`Don`t you feel a little different? I was wondering, when will you notice...'_

"What do you...?" And then it hit me. I`m not a human anymore! And I didn`t even realize it until now!

Now, when I thought about it, I _did_ feel different. Like I was more _aware _of my surroundings and also of myself. I knew what is happening in my body, if it`s working right or wrong. I knew my limits and my strengths. I also knew that this glade is a safe place and that I`m not in danger here. I touched my ears and I felt that they`re a little pointy. So strange feeling...

"Do I look different, besides my ears?" I asked with curiosity.

_~ A little, yes. You look like you, but as an Elf'_ said he, smiling in his mind. '_Your eyes are bigger and have deeper look and some light in them. Your hair is thicker and darker and your cheekbones are higher. But you still look like you.'_

'That`s good' I thought. 'I wouldn`t like to be a stranger to myself.'

"Ok, so we can go now. Can you lead?" I asked my old-new companion.

~ _Are you sure that you don`t want to take your bag with you?`_ Said Alcar, with some uncertainty.

"What?!" I looked around again and I couldn`t believe my own eyes. Why haven`t I seen this before? But there it lay, my brown bag I took with me when I went for a walk, my last walk on Earth. I ran to it and opened it. I knew what I would find inside, but still it was a shock. When I found the last thing I laughed aloud at the irony of Eru.

For there they lay – the strangest things Arda has ever seen. My cell phone, my car keys, my music player, bottle of water and, most importantly, my copy of the Silmarillion I took with me to a walk to read it in the shadow, under some tree.

"What I am supposed to do with that?!" I cried.


	3. The Meeting

I was lying beneath the tree trunk on the edge of the glade. The leaves were rustling gently in the warm night wind and stars were shimmering brightly on the deep surface of the skies. From the depths of the forest were coming the calls of owls and other night birds. My gyrfalcon was lying next to me, with his head hidden under his wing. His feathers were shining in the starlight like polished silver. `My new-old friend' I mused. 'He still resembled the bird I used to run across the fields with. But now he had his own, human-like personality. He had a sharp tongue sometimes, but he was also a caring creature.' I smiled. 'He even caught me a deer today. Not a rabbit, of course, though surely there were enough rabbits around. But he knew I hate skinning his preys. Mischievous bird!`

I closed my eyes. I was tired. This day was the longest I ever had in my life. After I found the Silmarillion in my bag I realized how much I can change in history of this world, even if I would try not to influence on the important events. The book itself wasn't so important, I could always bury it somewhere to make sure no one will find it. But it was its contents that had shaken me. All history of the First Age was unchanged and clear. But after the War of Wrath there was nothing. Blank pages. In this moment I understood that this is not some story in which I will live as a insignificant guest, which was what I was, quite frankly, hoping. Yes, this was an old world, but with entirely new history and I was a part of it. And I could not hope to predict what part will I play.

Slowly I was letting my weariness to take over me. I was sliding into the nothingness. I only kept part of my senses wary, as apparently all Elves do. But this glade was a safe place. I could rest...

* * *

I sat upright and looked around. What...? Why did I wake up so suddenly? But then I sensed it. The danger. Something wasn`t right. The nice aura of this glade had dissolved entirely and I felt an unpleasant shiver on my back. I touched the mind of my companion and whispered to him. I preferred this to talking out loud.

~ Alcar! Wake up! Something is wrong.'

_~ What?'_ he pulled his head out from under his wing, stood up and ruffled his feathers. He turned his head and looked at me. _'Have you heard something?`_

~ Rather, I`ve sensed. We`re not safe here. But I don`t exactly know why. We should check this. Go, fly above me. Tell me, if you see anything.'

~_ So be it, but remember, I`m not a night bird, my eyes aren`t very good at this hour. You must be careful yourself.'_ He waved his wings and flew up, stopping some ten meters above me. I delved into the forest and he followed me. The danger wasn`t very far way. I should soon find out what it was. I only hoped it won`t find out about my presence. Still, it was better to surprise it, than be surprised myself.

I was walking about ten minutes and was starting to wonder whether it wasn`t only my imagination. Soon I reached the spot, where trees were fewer. I could see better now, though earlier wasn`t that bad, I had elvish eyes after all.

Then, quite near, I heard the shrieks and screaming. It sounded like a pack of beats, but I could almost hear the words. Yes, the hoarse and unpleasant, but still words. Suddenly they were joined by other voices, high and clear, but shouting frantically.

I ran furtively to the source of strange sounds. After two minutes I reached the edge of the forest. The shouting grew louder. Then I came out from the woods and stopped abruptly.

I found myself on the edge of the forest. I was standing on the top of the low hill, overgrown with few oaks and some shrubs. On my right side were towering the walls of the very high mountains, the peaks the Hithaeglir. Beyond the forest, from which I came, stretched the vast fields, crossed by the flowing waters of the river, some miles away. On the field near the mountains lay huge rocks, as if thrown by some giant. It was there, between the big cluster of rocks and the forest, where the battle was taking place.

The group of beast-like creatures - 'the Orks' I realized – were attacking the group of twenty people I immediately identified as Elves. The Elves were defending themselves bravely, but I could see that they were greatly outnumbered and they probably were going to be slaughtered. Four of them already lay dead on the ground, the blood tainting their fair faces. Many dead Orcs were lying before their line of swords and some a few meters away, each one with the arrow in the middle of their heads. The archers fought with their swords now. Elves were too few to make the second line.

~ Alcar, do you see that?` I cried telepathically to my gyrfalcon.

_~ Unfortunately, yes. Elves are fine and brave warriors, but they are greatly outnumbered. They will perish' _he said with sorrow.

Then I saw that one of the Orcs that was killed by elvish arrows had a bow with him. He was lying behind the lines of those who were fighting.

~ Maybe not, if we can help that. Listen to me, do you see that Orc with the bow, lying near the forest?'

_~ Yes, I do. What do you have in mind?' _He asked, interested.

Quickly, bring his bow to me! And don`t forget the quiver_!` _He understood then. He spread his wings and sped like a beam of white light. Soon he reached the body of dead Orc, seized the bow with one clawed leg, the quiver with the other and flew back to me. I think one of the Elves caught the sight of Alcar, but soon he got engaged in battle with his next foe.

"Thanks" I said, taking the primitive, black bow and quiver with about three dozen arrows from the gyrfalcon. "Now, listen. I was quite good with a bow few years ago, as you know. I will try to decimate the right wing of the Orc`s band. I need you to attack their left wing. Together, we should distract them enough to give the Elves a chance to win this combat. Can you do this?"

~ _Watch me!'_ he exclaimed and then sped to lines of the enemy as quickly as before, the first arrow from the volley I was hoping to fire. I smiled and then got to work.

I was shooting better than I hoped, bearing in mind that I hadn`t had a bow in hand for at least three years. Maybe my elvish senses helped a bit. I killed one Orc, then the second, the third, the fourth... Meanwhile Alcar proved his incredible strength, when he attacked the group of Orcs, slashing his claws at them, killing two at once and then caught the third one, bearing him high in the air and then tearing him into pieces with his claws and beak. The Elves saw what was happening and in their faces shone a ray of hope, where moments ago was only fury and black despair.

The battle went on. I was shooting with my bow, Alcar was slashing with his claws and hitting with his beak and the Elves were hacking with their sword with new strength and doubled fury. The light shone forth from their eyes and they looked really deadly with blades gleaming with dark blood of their foes. Soon the Orcs, caught between two fires and terrified by the sight of the deadly, white falcon, who was killing them so mercilessly, began to retreat. Soon their lines broke and they were all running to the forest. I smiled with relief. We did it. So my presence here wasn`t all that bad.

The Elves, now safe again, were looking at Alcar with awe. Then one of them caught site of me, frowned and widened his eyes in fear. He started waving and shouting something to me, but everything I heard was "behind you!" When I`ve finally realized, what he meant, it was too late. I felt great force striking my back, sharp pain and then everything went black. Then last thing I heard was Alcar, calling my name...


	4. The Golden Lady

I was floating in the thick air of nothingness. I heard nothing, saw nothing, sensed nothing. I only knew that I exist. My existence was the only certain thing in this space of uncertainty. But no question reached my mind. I was just floating.

Then I heard the Voice. It was in some manner familiar to me, as if similar to something I heard before. But only similar, for I knew I was hearing it for the first time. It was deep, demanding, overwhelming, but also, in some way, soothing.

"_Come, child. Thou can leave now. Come to my Halls... I summon thee..."_

I felt _obliged_ to obey the Voice, but some part of me didn`t want to go, didn`t want to listen. I understood it would be wrong to refuse, but I still wasn`t certain what to do. Should I accept the summon of the Voice or should I reject it and stay? One choice felt wrong and the other ... uncertain, like the space in which I was floating.

Suddenly the new voice came and brought me a new choice.

_~ Talia, lasto beth nîn! Toro had, Rovalhen! Toro had nan galadh!"* _

It was beautiful female voice, pure and clear like a crystal, but deep as the bottom of a forest pool. It was fainter than the first voice, but in some way closer and much warmer. I felt this light she was talking about and her words were refreshing like the sweet breeze after all night spent in the cave. The first Voice was silent now and I knew it wouldn`t speak again. But the second one was offering me the option I could take, without any guilt. So I took it. I reached for the light and its sounds.

I took the deep breath of life, giving my withered lungs some air. I lifted my eyelids, but the strong light blinded me and I had to shield my eyes with my hand. At first I felt great relief, but then I coughed when the pain, radiating from my back, reached me. It was sharp and overwhelming and I cried loudly. I heard a voice telling me to lay still and felt some hands holding me. After several minutes the pain dulled and I finally could examine my surroundings.

I was lying on the bed in some unknown room. Its walls were made from white, gleaming marble, carved in curious, intricate shapes. The cellar and the floor were made from some light wood, its elements connected together without any mark. Here and there the planks, cut from the same wood, were hanging on the walls. Each of them was showing a different picture, every one strikingly beautiful, made with the heart and hand of true artist. Here was the glade in the forest, which leaves were young and green, as if they knew only spring. On the other side was gleaming the white town of high walls and tall towers, standing in the middle of the passage from the deep valley, leading outside it, to a green plains. There was also the image of the extremely high mountain with snowy top, circled by eagles, of amazing gardens with trees of golden leaves and silver trunks. But the image of the sea captured my eyes, the sea of great waves, splashing angrily, dark and threatening, when the reddish glow was spreading on the horizon - the most disturbing one in the room.

"I see my murals are to your liking. I`m glad of it, but you must lie still, for your wounds were nearly mortal, even for one of the Eldar."

That voice, I knew it! I looked in the corner of the room and widened my eyes with shock. She was the most beautiful maiden I ever saw. She was tall, clad in white gown with silvered-grey cloak. Her hair was golden, bright like the rays of sun or the shine of purest gold and was falling in locks around her fair face. Her deep blue eyes were full of hidden knowledge and ancient lore with trace of great sadness. But then she smiled to me and almost all of it disappeared, as if sun had just brighten her already so bright features. Almost all. Some of her sorrow remained and I had a feeling that some trace of it was always there.

"Be welcome, Talia, back in the land of the living. Your fëar was almost lost to Mandos, but I managed to reach you and to recall you just in time." She looked at me with concern. "Tell me, how are you feeling now?"

I was still in pain and little confused about all of this, but I felt quite fine. So, she was that second voice...?

"I`m good, I think, my back just aches a little. But... I don`t understand... You were that voice, which saved me? And where I am? And who are you... my lady?" I realized, that maybe I should be more polite.

"You are in my home, on the western side of Ost-in-Edhil, the capital city of Eregion. And yes, that was my voice that you heard" she said gently, pouring the water from the vase to the silver mug. Then she pulled some herbs out of the bag that was lying on the table. She rubbed the leaves and dropped them into the mug. "Drink" she directed, handing me the mug. "It will ease the pain and soothe your spirit." She sat on the chair before my bed and observed me as I was sipping the drought. It had sweet and refreshing taste. "I have been called by many names in the past, but my husband prefer to call me Galadriel."

I nearly choked on my drink and had to put it down. I coughed violently and Galadriel was looking at me with half-bemused, half-puzzled face. "I presume that you have heard of me, then. But you really must not choke yourself to death because of it."

"I`m sorry" I gasped, embarrassed. "You just were always one of my favourite cha... I mean, I`ve heard a lots of amazing things about you, my lady! It`s quite unexpected to meet you like this." I was babbling like some idiot! Yes, before me stood Galadriel, daughter of Finarfin, one of the eldest, wisest and most powerful of all elves in Middle Earth, and yes, I still had problems in digesting this information. But either way I must be careful! I don`t want everyone to know who I am. It would be just way too complicated.

A spark of doubt flashed in her eyes and I remembered that Galadriel always had extraordinary insight in one`s soul. But then it disappeared and she smiled again, filling me with relief.

"I see. I can only hope that the rumors have been good. But let us not discuss that. Tell me, what is the last thing you remember?"

I tore my gaze from her and focused my mind. How did I got here? I did not come here by foot, I... Yes! I remembered! There was that forest and the group of Elves ambushed by Orcs. I helped them, we won, all the Orcs were killed or were running to the forest and then... nothing. And Alcar...

I sat upright looking around me frantically. "Where is Alcar? Please, tell me everything is alright with him! I asked him to attack those Orcs and then..."

"Worry not, he is well!" She assured me, putting her hand on my shoulder. I looked at her, puzzled. "Aye, I know whom you mean: he told us his name, as well as your name and some other things. His leg was slightly injured, but no further harm came to him. He is an extraordinary creature - I have not seen his ilk even in Valinor." She looked at me, curious. "Tell me, how did you come to met him?"

Another lie, I thought sadly. "I found an abandoned nest in the mountains." I said after a moment, trying to sound genuine. "He was just a starved nestling back then. I took him home and took care of him. I gave him his name and my love. We created an amazing bond between us, and from that moment he has never left my side. If he is an offspring of some winged creature of the Valar, which died in some unfortunate accident, or just ordinary bird, who has grown greater thanks to his bond with me, I`ve never learned..."

Galadriel nodded, accepting my story. Still, I wasn`t sure if she believed it.

"Could you tell me how I got there, my lady?" I asked, trying to break the sudden silence.

She looked as if torn from her thoughts, but she smiled slightly and answered. "My apologies, I almost forgot to thank you for all that you have done. Such a deed requires not a small amount of courage. Your bravery, and your companion`s caused dissention in the horde of the enemy and aided my people to win the battle. You have saved many lives, and I thank you in the name of us all." Her eyes were full of light and comfort and I felt much better. I smiled back to her. "As for your coming here, after you fell to that arrow of that filthy Orc..." I looked at her, surprised. She sighed unhappily. "Even the best archer should guard her back, Talia. After you fell, the Elves you saved brought you here as quickly as they could. But your wound was fatal and you were on the edge of death. The tip of the accursed arrow was poisoned. I tended to you myself, but it was a difficult fight, for I am better healer of mind and soul than of the body. But I managed to defeat the poison and restore your body with the help of my dear husband. Your fëar was hardest to bring back, for you have already heard the Call of Mandos, but, thanks to Elbereth, I succeeded."

She then got up, smoothing the folds of her long dress. "You must rest now. By morning you should feel better, well enough to walk." She waved her hand towards the drink. "Please, finish the draught, it will help you to fall asleep. Tomorrow you may tour the town and you to meet its people. They are eager to meet you and thank you themselves." She smiled to me one last time and left the room. I exhaled and let all the tension to leave me. That was quite a meeting. Who would have thought... I was saved by Galadriel herself. I really liked her and I felt sad that I could not tell her whole truth, especially when I knew she must suspect something. But that is the burden of this knowledge.

~_So, how was your day?` _I heard an amused voice in my head.

~ Alcar! I`m so glad to hear you! I heard your leg was injured. Are you feeling all right now?` I answered, happy, but concerned.

~ _One of those awful Orcs bit me in the leg, when I was bearing him in the air. It wasn`t a serious wound, but the orc`s teeth were not very clean, so it got infected. Fortunately the Elves helped me, so it will heal in a few days.` _He sounded genuine, so I breathed a sigh of relief.

~ I`m sorry I dragged you into this.` I whispered mentally.

_~ Don`t be. It was the right thing to do. Besides those Orcs deserved it. Filthy worms. But how are you feeling? Can you walk?`_

~ No, but I think I will manage tomorrow` I sighed. `I wish I could breathe the night air and see the stars. I feel I had been lying in this bed long enough.`

_~ I can help you, just close your eyes.' _He exclaimed suddenly.

~ Why? What do you mean?'

_~ Trust me, close your eyes and reach for me with your mind.`_

I did as he told me. At first nothing happened, but then I felt as if something was pulling my mind to him. I tried to resist and broke the contact.

_~ Talia, don`t fight, you know I mean you no harm. Just reach for me again and then relax.`_

I tried again and this time didn`t resist. Then I got blinded and senseless. But before I could panic, the senses came back, but different.

I was soaring through the night air on the white, strong wings. The wind was blowing through my feathers, but they covered me well and kept me warm. With my keen eyes I could see many things, though blurred by the lack of light. The rustling leaves of trees far below me, the shimmering forest pools and waters of the two rivers, like silver tresses spread through the dark-green womb of the earth. Between the rivers there stood a beautiful town with high walls and slender towers, glimmering like pure silver and light blue, as if made with flowing marble. Above all myriads of stars were shining, bright and strong, every one as small moon, and the moon itself was greater than anything I ever seen. It was magnificent. My ears could hear the sounds of the night, the singing, calling, rustling, fluttering, even the music of the crickets. Wait... my ears?

~ _I told you that you would like it' _said Alcar in his/my head.

~ This is amazing, how have you done it?' I cried, amazed.

_~ I just realized the form our bond has taken. We can not only share our thoughts, but senses as well. But it means also, that I have taken most of your fëar into my body, so you shouldn`t stay like this too long, lest someone will think you`re dead. Just break the connection and you will return to your body.`_

I enjoyed the night and was flying with him a little longer and it was the most amazing thing I`ve ever experienced, save the meeting with Eru. But then I did as he advised me and I returned to my body. The passing was similar as before – I lost my senses and then I got them back. I was still lying in my bed in the empty room. I drunk the whole potion and lay down comfortably, closing my eyes. I sent my mind to Alcar for the last time today.

~ Good night, my friend. Thank you for showing me this.`

_~ You`re welcome. Sleep well, Talia. We will see each other tomorrow.'_

I smiled and fall in the arms of dreams. The last thing I thought was that no matter what will happen, I will always have my gyrfalcon and he will never leave me. That was a very comforting thought.

* * *

* _Talia, hear me! Come back, Winged-eye! Come back to the light!_


	5. Ost-in-Edhil

Sorry for a late update, but both me and my beta-reader have had a hard week( more than one, to be true). This chapter is twice as long as the others, so enjoy :)

* * *

A bird was singing nearby. It was a beautiful tune, swirling like a light wind and descending like a fresh rain. I opened my eyes. The small creature was sitting on the rail of the open window, twittering happily, while ruffling his yellow-green feathers. It looked at me with eyes black as coals, trilled melodiously, waved his wings and was gone. I watched after it with amusement as it sped along the paved path to the edge of the great fountain, standing under the branches of two trees. The trees were tall, their silver trunks gleamed slightly and golden leaves whispered gently as their images were reflected on the moving surface of the water. A beautiful garden surrounded the fountain, its trees and flowers looked as if they were wild, planted there only by nature. But I saw that in their wildness there was a pattern and some sort of... well, magic. Then I remembered where I was and smiled happily. I stood up from the bed, approached the window and took a deep breath of fresh air, enjoying the cool breeze, tickling my skin.

'I didn`t know there were mallorns in Ost-in-Edhil' I thought to myself. 'But after all, why not? It`s still Galadriel`s home and Gil-galad could have already given her some samplings, when he received them from his friends in Numenor.' I saddened at the thought that the number of Elf-friends of Numenor were already dwindling. Soon only Lords of Andunie would remain.

"I see you are awake."

I looked behind me. Galadriel was standing in the doorway, watching me closely. Her long hair fell on the back of her blue garb like a wave of liquid gold. I turned back to her and nodded, wondering how she could move so quietly.

"Yes, and I can walk without pain, for which I am very grateful. You are indeed a great healer." I was starting to get used to this more eloquent way of speaking.

She smiled kindly, approached the carved closet and opened it. She pulled out a long, green tunic and black pants and looked at me thoughtfully.

"These should suit you. Your own garb was torn and covered with dirt and blood, so I disposed of it. The simple gown I gave you will not be comfortable in the city, so perhaps you will find it acceptable?"

I agreed happily, inwardly sighing with relief at the thought that I had been wearing a similar outfit on that memorable day. Jeans and a blouse would be hard to explain and I already had enough secrets.

I dressed and followed Galadriel. We went down the smooth, marble stairs and to the cosy living room. The stone floor was strewn with dry lavender, filing the room with fragrance. It was divided to three parts. The base of the stairs was near the entrance. On the other side of the hall, by the fireplace cut into the wall, stood two comfortable, wooden chairs. In the middle was long table, carved from some grey stone with matching benches. On the left, visable a ew steps further down the stairs, was located massive library with lots of big volumes and scrolls. Deftly woven tapestries hung from its walls, showing mostly battle scenes, hunts, or simple beauties, like the mountains in the morning sun or falling waterfalls. Near the wall, engrossed in reading some volume, was sitting very tall Elf with a long, silver hair belted with a matching band. He looked up from the book, hearing our footsteps. Then he noticed me and in his dark eyes, full of calm wisdom, flickered with a spark of interest.

"Our guest feels well already, it seems. Tell me, Talia, do you have some special talent of falling into trouble or was it just a coincidence that a particularly vicious Orc approached you from behind?"

I looked at him, rather amazed. He smiled lightly. I didn`t that know the future lord of Lothlorien had a sense of humor. I smiled back. I liked him instantly.

"No, my lord, but that was my first true fight and though my skills as an archer did not fall me, unfortunately my other senses did. Next time they won`t."

He looked at me, suddenly very serious and tired. "Unfortunately, you may have your next time rather soon. Though no one must fight who does not wish to, the danger often comes unlooked for and there is no choice. We had almost a millennium of peace since the Banishment of the Great Enemy, but my dear lady an I, especially she, are beginning to feel that a shadow rises in this world once again. A shadow which never really left this world. Not all of the servants of the Nameless One were annihilated and they may strike down upon us again in the future. Our people do not want to listen to us in this matter, they love their peace too much. This ambush so near our capital may have alarmed them, but after we have destroyed this Orc group, they will forget about it. But I am afraid that this was not just an arbitrary encounter, that something, or someone is controlling them from behind."

I looked at him, astonished. Why was he telling me this? I was to them, after all, just some unknown Elf, who happened to help them in a difficult situation.

"You are wondering why?" Celeborn asked me, nodding in understanding. "Then know this: you should be dead. The venom in that arrow was lethal. You would have died anyway without my help, but you should not have prevailed long enough to reach this city. There is also something about you, Talia, that tells me you are something more than you appear. I cannot sense your age. Galadriel cannot read your mind, and this is very rare for her. Your amazing bond with the falcon, your appearance just in time to help our people to survive and above all your strange fëa, as if mixed with a soul of the Edain. I would say you are one of the Maiar, but your fëa tells a different story. Either way, I think you were not sent here by the Valar. Tell me, am I wrong?"

Now I was positively terrified, but I knew I shouldn`t be surprised. These were wise, ancient beings who had seen much. Whom was I trying to deceive? But how could I be honest with them but not tell them the whole truth?

Then I got an idea that could possibly work. I will try to be as honest as I can.

"I am... sorry that I was hiding this from you, but the truth is... I do not remember much. I think I was never in Valinor but I also remember little of Middle-earth. My memory is fragmented so I am not really sure about anything. I know that I have some unusual skills and that I have known Alcar for a long time, but I can`t tell you anything more. Alcar is the same. I thought it would be better to make up something than to tell the truth, but now I see that maybe this was a bad idea. Accept my explanation and my apologies if they are of any worth to you." I smiled sadly. I wasn`t counting on much.

Then I felt someone`s arm on my shoulder. I raised my head and saw Galadriel. She looked me deeply in the eye for a moment and then smiled to me reassuringly. "Do not be afraid. We are not judging you. I confess that the fact I could not read your thoughts made me think that you might have some connection to this danger, this shadow, that I have sensed. But now I see that I was probably wrong. You are still keeping some things to yourself and you are a mystery to us, but so be it. Everyone here has some past he wishes he could forget. You do not have to say much, they will understand, though I am glad you were as honest with us as you were." She glanced at her husband and he nodded his head. She then looked back at me. "But enough of this for now. Celebrimbor wants to meet you and I promised I would bring you to him for breakfast. I think you are hungry, after so severe a wound."

"Celebrimbor?" I gasped. The famous craftsman of the Second Age?

"I see you have heard about him?" asked Galadriel, smiling.

"Yes" I answered simply. There would be no point in denying. "But why does he want to meet me? Have you told him your worries about me?"

"No, we preferred to keep it for ourselves and it is good we did, now you do not have to explain everything to everyone" answered Celeborn. He then smiled and looked me in the eye. "He wants to meet you, because he was one of those elves, whom you rescued."

* * *

A few minutes later, I was walking down the city`s main street, admiring my surroundings. Ost-in-Edhil was a beautiful city, with its great, marble houses, paved, straight roads, clean environment and closeness to nature. Along the road were growing many old trees of many kinds and various species of birds were bustling up in their branches, building nests and filling the air with their songs. The inhabitants were full of energy and joy, as only could be the folk still remembering war and living in peace. They didn`t have any real labour to do, so they mostly were developing their interests. Some were playing sweet songs on their harps, flutes or lyres, others were tending to their gardens, playing with birds or carrying some packages. It was not as in any human towns I knew - the Elves were full of joy, they weren`t rushing out to do something, they were just doing what they loved with a knowledge that they have whole eternity to do it or at least a very long time.

When they saw me they began approaching me, praising my courage and asking about my health. It seemed that the rumour of my arrival had spread around the entire city. At first I was rather shocked, but then I was just laughing with them, answering their questions as best as I could. They were beautiful people, tall and strong, with dark hair and grey eyes of the Noldor or the silver hair and dark or blue eyes of the Sindar, sometimes mixed together, because they lived with each other in friendship and mixed marriages were not a rare occurrence. They spoke mostly in Sindarin and I was happy to realize I could understand it almost as well as my native language. No wonder, I have been speaking in Sindarin with Galadriel all this time. "Aglar`ni Rovalhen!*" I heard a cheer in Sindarin and then even the welcoming phrase in Quenya: "Elen sila lumenn omentielvo!**".

I frowned. I had heard this name before. Galadriel called me that when she was saving my life. I leaned to her and whispered "Why are they calling me 'Rovalhen'? I have heard that name many times and once from you."

She smiled lightly. "The Winged-eye? It is just an Anessi, the Given-name that was given to you by our people after they heard about your deeds. You do not have to accept it if you do not wish, but I believe it suits you. It might mean either your keen sight or your bond to your falcon."

I was wondering about it when we were walking through the city. It was big, but after another ten minutes we were there. On the eastern edge of the city there was a high hill or a rather low mountain, something between them. One slope was falling gently towards the city and the other was sheer, sticking a little above the external battlements of the town. The dozens of polished steps were leading up to the circling path and to the gate, forged from silver and bluish iron. Behind the gate stood a big house, built from iron, stone and wood mixed together in a spectacular design. I couldn`t see everything from below, but the whole complex was probably guarded by the tall iron walls. Before me stood the mighty house of the Gwaith-i-Mirdain, the last line of the defence of the city. Something stirred in my memory, but I pushed it away. Now was not the time for such thoughts.

We climbed the first stairs and went up the path. The path meandered up the hill and I could see many caves, cut into its slopes. Some Elves were sometimes walking to and from it, but if there were ever any mines, they were long depleted. Maybe they were now used as a storehouse or a meeting place.

Alcar caught up with me then. He landed near the path, folding his long, white wings and screeched shrilly. I smiled and ran up to him. His leg was bandaged with a clean piece of cloth, but he looked fine. I had to ask anyway.

"Hello, Alcar. How is your leg?"

~ _Fine, I think the wound is almost healed. You have slept a few days, so it had enough time.' _He ruffled his feathers and rubbed his leg with his beak._ `So you are going to a meeting with master craftsman from this doomed line of fools, who always ruin everything they touch?'_

"Alcar, shut up!" I turned back to Galadriel, who was looking at us with interest, to apologise her, but my falcon interrupted.

~ _Don`t worry, Talia, she didn`t hear it, I was talking to you only. And I didn`t mean her. She is from Finarfin`s line and the most sane one in this whole family. That`s the reason she is still alive.`_

~Celebrimbor lives too` I remarked mentally.

~ _Celebrimbor is from the second line. But he is also one of the Feanorians and you know as well as I do...`_

~Yes, I know` I cut him. I sighed and nodded in the gate`s direction. "Let`s go, they are waiting for us."

We entered the final stretch of the road. Meanwhile, Galadriel was mentally talking with Alcar, who was flying near us, asking him about many things; his history, his interests. I also could enter falcon`s mind, so I`ve heard the whole conversation. She seemed fascinated with him, but she also wanted to confirm my version of our past. Fortunately we shared our experience last night, so he hasn`t raised her suspicion. Galadriel wasn`t pushing him, I think she decided to let go her suspicion about us and she was just curious. I concluded that we don`t have to be afraid of her digging in our past, but still, we must be careful to not let out anything ourselves. She maybe couldn`t read our thoughts, but she was still a very good observant.

Then we finally reached the gate. Its doors were open and the morning sun made its iron shimmer with silver and blue, making me wondering from what material it was wrought. The mighty wall of fifteen feet was rising from both sides of it, looking like the fence made from stripes of iron, first melted and then twisted together into design resembling some very high thicket of tangled, thorny shrubs. It was amazing sight and I gasped in wonder.

"Stunning view, is it not?" remarked Galadriel, smiling wryly, when we walked through the gate. "Our Craftmaster worked on it for over a century. The gate is made from meteorite ore and mithril. Those battlements of steel encircle his whole house."

"And he made it all by himself?" I asked, awed. That`s a persistence. "I understand the gate, but the battlements..."

We went to the large area, on which the house was standing. There was no big garden in that place, though many old trees were growing there, giving some pleasant shade. Around the house were many smithy devices and a few forges. Some Elves were working there for I heard the noise ofy anvils and saw thin trails of stream, rising up in the air.

"After he found that meteorite ore he had to use it for something" continued Galadriel, leading me to the base of the stairs. "The single gate is not of much use, so he added the walls. He had some assistants, but he did most of it. Now, more than ever, I am happy that we have the second line of defence."

We were now entering to the staircase, leading to the large entrance to the household. It looked similar to what I remembered from the description of Rivendell, but I think it was a bit bigger and more enclosed. It was made from wood and stone, with some ornaments of silver, gold and other metals. Alcar landed on the floor, clattering his claws on stone. He looked hilarious, when he was walking and I laughed silently. He glared at me, shaking his wings.

We passed the large door and entered the long corridor. It was carved from light marble, its walls were decorated with many paintings, murals, some sculptures and tapestries – fruits of the labour of many skilful hands and eager hearts. A few doors were cut in the walls, probably leading to bedchambers or workrooms of members of Gwaith-i-Mirdain or their families. I wondered whether they lived here or in the other places of the city. And that left the other doubts.

"My lady, may I ask you a question?" I asked tentatively, glancing at Galadriel.

She looked at me thoughtfully. "Yes, you may. What is it?"

"I got the impression that you and your husband rule the city, am I right?"

"Yes, we founded it and we have been exercising our authority over the city since year 750 of the Second Age." she answered, watching me curiously.

"Then why are you living in a lesser house then the Craftmaster? Your house is very well planed and beautiful, but why don`t you want to live here?"

Galadriel looked at me, surprised. Me and my sharp tongue! I have been listening to Alcar`s comments way too long! "I am sorry, I shouldn`t have..."

Then she laughed gently, the clear and pure sound like the ringing of crystal. I looked at her, amazed. "Nay, do not apologise. You were only curious. To answer your question, it is because Celeborn is a Sinda and he prefers less lofty buildings. With time I have become used to his preferences. Furthermore, despite the fact that we admire the hard work and energy of the members of this guild, we are content to live on the other side of the town, away from their excitement and the everlasting sounds of anvils. There is your answer."

I nodded, and opened my mouth to ask her other questions, but we had arrived at the great hall, on one end of the long corridor. The hall had a high ceiling, studded with gems, which were shimmering like stars. On the walls were hanging many tools of war; dozens of swords in leather scabbards, scores of bows and lances, a few axes and many shields of various designs. Each one of them was very beautiful and ornate, but, as I well knew, also very deadly. Elves do not make their weapons and armour only for decoration.

In the middle of the hall was standing a long, semicircular table with about a hundred seats. Nearly all of them were empty, except for the three closest to the centre. These were occupied by three Elves, who led a lively conversation. One in the middle had dark hair and the grey eyes of the Noldor. His companion on the right must have been a Noldo as well, but the second one clearly was a Sinda. The Elf in the middle paused when he heard our footsteps and turned his head to see us. He glanced at Galadriel and then at me. In his deep, grey eyes shone a ray of fierce light, betraying his charismatic personality. He was observing me for a moment, clearly interested and I recognized him as that Elf, who tried to warn me about the Orc, that was sneaking up to me. He saw that recognition and smiled to me, gesturing for me to sit down on the chair in front of him. Then he spoke with a deep, melodious voice:

"I am very glad to finally meet you, Rovalhen, the one who saved my life. My friends here would be miffed if I died there and left them alone with the new task." He smiled and his companions laughed, the Sinda drunk some wine from his cup, shaking his head. My host pointed me to the chair again. "Please, sit down, our novices will soon bring some food. I am Celebrimbor, the Craftmaster and the Leader of Gwaith-i-Mirdain, but I am sure you have guessed it already."

* * *

This chapter was just getting to long and I had to cut it somewhere. But that means that I already have a beginning to the next one, so I think it will be put faster. Please review!

*"Glory to the Winged-eye!"

** "May the stars shine above the hour of our meeting!"


	6. The Iron Mind

I nodded to Celebrimbor and sat on the chair, watching him. He wasn`t such a magnificent figure as Galadriel or Celeborn, but I could sense great charisma and an iron will in him. No wonder, he was a grandson of Feanor after all. "Yes, Lord Celebrimbor, I recognized you from the battlefield" I answered, folding my hands on my lap. "You fought well, as did all of your companions. My sympathies for their loss."

He bowed his head, his grey eyes full of sorrow. "Yes, they assaulted us, when we were coming back from Khazad-Dúm. Sadly, we were not prepared for ambush." He seemed lost in thought for a moment, resting his head on his folded hands as if he was praying. Then he looked at Galadriel, smiling gently. "And good day to you, my lady, do you wish to feast with us? There is enough room for us all."

Galadriel regarded him, narrowing her eyes. "I am afraid my husband is waiting for me with breakfast of his own, therefore I must decline. We do not want him to get disappointed." Celebrimbor nodded with understanding, still smiling gently. Galadriel looked back to me. "Take care, Rovalhen. You can always visit me and Celeborn if you have any questions or..." she glanced at my host. "...concerns." She then turned back, nodded to Alcar and left the room, swaying with the folds of her long dress. I frowned. What had she meant? Why was she behaving so strangely in the presence of Celebrimbor? I threw a questioning look at my host, but he just smiled at me faintly. I made a mental note to ask him or Galadriel about it later.

I was just about to say something when I felt someone`s eyes on me. I turned my head to meet the gaze of black eyes of that Noldo, sitting next to my host. At first I thought he was just as curious as everyone else and cast him a light smile. But he was still looking at me with a strangely intense gaze, and I saw a trace of confusion and also... irritation, as if he was trying to solve a dangerous mystery or decide how he should behave toward me. I frowned again and started wondering what was on his mind. Meanwhile he turned his gaze to the depths of his cup and stared in them with blank expression. I glanced at Celebrimbor but he was looking at the spot behind me with active interest. I shook off the thoughts about the Noldo`s strange behaviour and smiled. I knew what has caught his interest.

Alcar decided to break the silence, when he waved his wings and sat on the nearby chair, clutching his silver claws on its frame. Both Celebrimbor and Sinda, who sat next to him, were watching him with awe. He returned the gaze, regarding them with his dark eyes.

"This is this beast, who had fought so bravely with the Orcs?" the Sinda asked me. He then smiled apologetically. "My apologise, we have not introduced ourselves properly. I am Galorn and my friend`s name is Cartelion." He gestured to the Noldo, who has been silent all this time. He was now watching his hands, seemingly uninterested by all of this. "You`ve already met our lord, Celebrimbor."

"I am Talia, also called Rovalhen here, as I have gathered." I introduced myself to them, watching Alcar, who seemed slightly insulted that someone called him `a beast`. "And this is..."

~ _I am Alcar` _Falcon interrupted me, ruffling his feathers and watching the Elves with the trace of contempt. He spoke directly into their minds and all of them looked at him, shocked. Save Cartelion, he just pursed his lips, tearing his gaze from his hands and glancing at Alcar with indifference. `_And I am not a beast._'

"I am sorry..." Galorn tried to answer, puzzled, but I stopped him.

"Do not be, he is just a creature of pride, swollen a bit." I glowered at Alcar, who returned the look. The Sinda tried to say something more, but then the door opened and the group of a dozen Elves entered. They were garbed in a similar way as their masters, sitting by the table – in a long tunic and pants. But if the masters` outfit was in many shades of gold, green and black, they were dressed mostly in brown. They were bearing silver plates, similar to those lying on the table, but much bigger. On the plates were many dishes, from a few species of game, fishes and vegetables, to bread with golden crust and a big jar of honey. One of them was also carrying two great jugs of wine. I widened my eyes, what a breakfast! They put everything on the table, bowed before Celebrimbor and his companions and left the room.

The meal was delicious and I ate with relish, though I wasn`t very hungry. I took advantage of the opportunity to talk with my hosts. They asked me many questions, concerning my past, my family, my interests; they asked where I was from and whether I was pursuing the Orcs or I had found them by coincidence. I had to be careful with my words, but answering them wasn`t as difficult as I thought it would be, because they understood my reluctance to say much. After all, all of them remembered the First Age and clearly were trying to forget much of it. I told them a similar story to what I told Galadriel, that my falcon and I have lost much of our memory in some strange accident and we can`t even tell how or why. At first I thought they wouldn`t believe me, but they seemed to accept it as if they had heard worse. And maybe they had.

I also observed the great hall. It was very big, its walls were cut from light marble, similar to this in the corridor, by which I arrived here earlier. A lot of space on the wall was occupied by such an amount of swords, spears, bows and any kind of armour I ever heard of and some even unheard by me, that it could easily fill two big armouries, the king`s size. Their design was very beautiful and intricate, but the blades of weapons gleamed deadly and plates of armours shined proudly, ever ready to be used. In the middle of the hall stood long, semicircular table, by which we were having our meal. In every corner of those two on the top of the room a tree was standing, each one the tall, old oak of long, spreading branches, maintaining a canopy of dark-green. Behind each tree there was a great window, one facing more eastward and one more westward, because whole house was pointing north. Now, in the morning, the rays of sun shone through the leaves of one tree, tinting them with livelier shade and the leaves of the other rustled gently, when the wind flew through them, bearing some with it, which formed a dry carpet on the floor. I watched all my surroundings with wonder, while eating and conversing.

After some time, I was having very interesting conversation with my hosts, but one thing would not allow me to relax. During the whole time that Noldo - Cartelion, was constantly ignoring me. He seemed completely at ease, talking with Celebrimbor or Galorn, so they didn`t seem to notice anything wrong, but he would not talk to me or even to look me in the eye. It was strange, but I forgot about it, while I listened to Celebrimbor answer my question concerning the gate and battlements.

"...therefore the gate was my doing, but the battlements were made with a help of my students and my Dwarvish friends." While he talked, his grey eyes were shining with pride and joy. He then smiled at his memories. "Though Narvi was trying to argue. In his opinion mithril looks better mixed with black marble, not with meteorite ore. Only my promise that we will do the next gate according to his design allowed me to persuade him."

"And probably he wants to do it on the walls of his home?" I asked with wry smile.

He looked at me with astonishment. He then laughed with his melodious voice. "Amazing insight. Yes, he demanded just that. And he was so obstinate that I doubt he will allow me to make more than just the inscriptions on his great work of art." I laughed quietly with him, thinking about the stubbornness of Dwarves. I`ve always liked that part of their nature.

Then a novice entered the room, walked up to Celebrimbor and said something to him in a low voice. Celebrimbor furrowed his brows and pursed his lips. He suddenly looked worried. He nodded to the Elf, who bowed and left the room. He then looked at me, thoughtful. "I am sorry Talia, but we must leave now, we have some problems in the city. And, ay, welcome to Ost-in-Edhil! You may visit our forges if you are interested in that, or go to the training grounds and practise with a bow or some other weapon." His face brightened a little, when he smiled to me. "Our life here is not very fast, we just enjoy it, doing mostly that what we love. Only sometimes there are other matters we must attend to be safe, as now." Galorn, who was standing with Cartelion by the doors, called Celebrimbor with an urgent voice. He nodded to him, his face again very serious, and cast the last, quick glance to me. "I will be on the training grounds at eve if I handle this matter fast enough. We can meet there and practise, if you want. Until then farewell, Rovalhen." He then rushed to join his companions and started to talk with them, probably gathering information about the problem. I was curious, but I decided to ask him about this later, maybe on the training grounds. I smiled. I was eager to test my skills with the bow - I must know which level I am at now.

I decided to explore the whole complex before I go there. It was just noon; I had a lot of time until evening. I went out of the chamber, into the corridor. I saw Celebrimbor and his companions walking quickly to the entrance. I followed them, I too wanted to go outside. They stopped for a moment when they reached the doors, waiting for a guard to open it. I looked at Cartelion`s back, again wondering about his behaviour. Have I done something that might have caused it? But I immediately shook my head, there was nothing: I have been here for only one day, and I met him today. I was just about to ask Alcar about his opinion, when Cartelion turned his head, as if he sensed my gaze on his back. His eyes met mine and I again sense in him some disturbance, as if he was trying to solve my mystery.

Before I could stop myself I reached his mind with mine, as I do with Alcar when I want to explain him something. My mind hit something which resembled the cold wall of sharp iron and I backed away. Cartelion tensed suddenly and then it happened. It was as if a mask fell from his face and for a split of second I saw deadly iciness in his gaze, mixed with a great hatred and... pain. The blood froze in my veins and I felt some unexplained fear, dread engulfing me like an icy wave. Cold sweet appeared on my forehead, and I exhaled shakily. Then he regained his composure and again donned his mask. His stare became blank and he turned from me, as if nothing happened. The guard finally opened the doors and he followed Celebrimbor and Galorn out of the house. They left me alone in the long corridor, shaken to the very core, feeling the questioning touch of my falcon`s mind.


	7. Dreams of Peace

I backed away to the great hall and leaned, breathing deeply, trying to calm myself down. What was that?! I have never felt anything like this before. When I reached Cartelion`s mind I felt something like an iron wall, cold and strong. Then he, maybe surprised by my touch, lowered his barrier for a second, enough for me to unwittingly peer behind it and glimpse what really lies underneath. And I didn`t like it. It was like looking into the cold ocean, full of great wrath and hatred against all the world, under which, deep, deep down, some wounded creature was moving, pleading for release and screaming, screaming... my name?

_~ Talia!' _

I came back to reality, exhaled deeply and looked around me. What? Then I saw Alcar, who hung in the air before me, waving his wings quickly. He landed on the sculpture of a white hart and looked at me with his dark eyes in which sparked golden twinkles. He reached my mind again, gently as if he was approaching a frightened animal.

_~ Talia, tell me what happened.`_

I didn`t know how to talk about it, so I just showed him my memory with all the details. His dark pupil widened and he clenched his claws on the sculpture, leaving long scratches. He lowered his head, looking up to me.

_~ Talia, something is terribly wrong with that Elf.` _he exclaimed, opening his beak.

`Well, I know, I`ve sensed it' I answered him, rubbing my forehead. 'But what of it? What should we do? I can`t just avoid him, I want to have normal life here! Just once, for a time, I want my life to be peaceful and happy! I hoped I would get at least some time. That is why I chose Eregion!' I kicked the wall, but the physics worked and my toe exploded with pain. I glowered at it.

Alcar sighed mentally and I sensed a trace of sadness in him. _~ Life is not that easy and it`s not fair. You know it well.` _I sighed too, thinking about my dad with both sadness and anger. _~ But why we should do something about him? For now he isn`t doing anything bad towards us. Maybe he`ll just let us be.' _I could see even he had a problem in believing it.

~ No, Alcar." I said quietly. ~ I`ve seen something I shouldn`t, something terrible. For all my knowledge about Arda I can`t tell what it was. Being him I wouldn`t want me to tell everyone about it, even if they probably wouldn`t believe me. He will do something about it, because right now I am _his _problem. And there is little I can do to prevent that.`

Alcar looked worried for a moment, but then his eye hardened. ~ No, we can do much, because we are strong, especially together. We can solve this problem or at least we will try.'

I smiled faintly. A little of the uncertainty and worry went away and I felt better. He always knew how to comfort me.

I straightened and moved to the entrance, wanting to go outside. I nodded to the guard when he asked me if everything was all right and walked through the open gate, stopping at the top of the stairs. I watched the wind rustle the leaves of many old trees growing here and listened to sweet voices of birds, swirling around, fluttering their feathers. Sounds of anvils added their own tune to the music of nature. It was so peaceful... and yet it was not.

Alcar landed near me, clattering his claws on the stone. I looked at him, thoughtful.

"So, what do you think, what should we do?" I asked tentatively, but with growing hope.

He walked closer to the edge of the stairs, watching the surroundings. _~ One thing puzzles me.` _he answered, blinking. _`Why has no one here sensed what you did? Not even his closest companions? Galorn is maybe less watchful, but Celebrimbor is a very old Elf, of keen mind and eye. He wouldn`t have to have touched his mind to sense that something is wrong.' _He shook his wings.

"But he seemed completely at ease with his companions at the feast." I said, remembering the morning`s events. "He talked with them, even laughed with them! If he was the same to me, I wouldn`t be suspicious. But he wasn`t, he looked as if he couldn`t do it! The question is: why?"

Alcar watched the horizon, deep in his thoughts. _~ I don`t know...` _he then glanced at me. ~ _But I think you shouldn`t be too hasty in your actions. You are only one day here and you are their guest. You can`t just go to Celebrimbor and say that you feel something is wrong with one of his best friends, because you saw it in his mind. Regardless on his reaction, Cartelion would know about this and it could provoke him to do something about your unwelcome statements. If something really is wrong with him, which we cannot be quite certain, you would be placed in great danger.`_

"Then what should I do?" I cried silently. I hated this uncertainty. And I hated that I couldn`t solve my own problems by myself as I used to.

_~ What should__** we **__do, Talia.` _myfalcon corrected me, watching me closely._ `Tell me, my mind companion, what falcon does, when he wants to assess the size of his prey?'_

I smiled when I understood his idea. "He observes it."

~ _Yes, he observes it from above, soaring in the heights, all-seeing and unseen_.' He bounced off the ground and flew up in the air, above the tops of the old tress. I linked my mind with his with a thin line - this way I could see with his eyes, but stay in control of my body. The town was flowing down below, like a wave of wavering leaves and gleaming stone. Two rivers were flanking it like a pitchfork, its waters shimmering in the sun. Eastward loomed the wall of the Misty Mountains, and, as if in agreement to their name, the white fog was veiling them, blurring their outline. In the town below the inhabitants were attending to their business. Alcar adjusted his eyes and we could see their faces, well enough to recognize them. ~ _Live your life like them, Talia. Observe the world and its phenomena, get to know it and learn its laws. It`s your world now and you will stay here, for good or for evil, tied to it by the bonds of immortality.` _

And we will be watching Cartelion with your eyes and we will know the truth about him, if it`s possible, without arousing his suspicion.` I nodded, went down the stairs and began wandering among the trees. The wind brushed my hair with its tiny fingers. ~ It is still risky, because we don`t know his intentions, but it`s not a bad idea.`

Then I realized that, during the talk, I unwittingly arrived at training grounds. It was divided into two parts. One was the great open square, covered only by short grass. The other was an archery range on which could practise fifteen archers could practise at time. To my surprise, no one was there. Near the square stood a low, wooden building. Curious, I went to it, opened its doors and went inside. It was an armoury. To the right, on the shelves and racks, were placed lots of swords, spears, maces, bows and other weapons. Some of them were wooden, but many were made of real steel, only dulled. On the left hung many types of armour, from light leather, to heavy mail and plate armour. I smiled and broke the contact with Alcar, which was making me see double. Then I grabbed the nearest bow, made from flexible light wood and the quiver with the bunch of grey-feathered arrows in it, and left the building.

I went to the archery range. Before every mark at least the score of targets stood scattered, spaced every ten yards. I aimed at the second one, stretched the bowstring and fired. It missed the target one yard to the left and the arrow was stuck in the grass. I frowned. I aimed the second time and barely hit the target in its edge. I winced, what was wrong? Not that long ago I was killing Orcs to quite good effect!

I fired many times, till the sun started to lean toward western horizon, but only twice I managed to hit the middle of the target. I sighed, it looks like I need a lot of practise to be as good as I thought I was. Maybe Elves have some skill trigger, which activates in the moment of a danger? Or maybe I was just lucky? But I shook my head at this thought. Simple luck could not made me kill twenty Orcs, while standing fifty yards away!

"Arrows are not good for you today, Rovahlen?"

I turned around to see Celebrimbor, standing at the edge of the training grounds. He was garbed in the simple black tunic this time and his long black hair was flowing freely behind him. He smiled lightly and came up to me. Fortunately, he was alone.

"Welcome, Lord Celebrimbor" I greeted him, sighing. I lowered my bow. "I do not know what is happening with me. I thought I could manage hitting a few targets. But to my surprise I found I am awful at it."

He looked at me appraisingly. "Show me." he exclaimed.

I wasn`t very keen to show my clumsiness, but I stood, set my bow in the right position, aimed, and fired. The arrow missed the target by few inches and I groaned unhappily. "As I said, I am awful."

Celebrimbor observed me for a moment with his grey eyes, frowning, but then his brow smoothed. "As I remember correctly, you found yourself on the verge of death after the battle?" he asked.

"Yes, if not for Celeborn and Galadriel, I would be dead." I grimaced when I remember my imprudence.

He smiled then, as if my answer confirmed his assumptions. "I am not the expert in that kind of matter, but I think you should not be worry. As you well know, because of the nature of a connection between our fëa and our hröa, if one is damaged it affects the other. The connection was nearly broken, so now they are... shaken. Hence your problems. They should stabilize in time and then you will regain the full level of your skill."

I smiled at him, relieved. "Thank you, my Lord. I am glad to hear it."

"Please, you do not have to address me by my title when we are not in the Court. Call me just by my name." He answered me with a flicker in his grey eyes.

"Thank you, Celebrimbor." I corrected myself. Then I remembered the morning feast. "May I ask what caused you to leave in such a hurry earlier this morning? You looked worried."

His bright eyes darkened considerably and he tensed his jaw. "The Orcs" he nearly spit. "It looks like they have grown in number in the mountains. The messenger came from Khazad-Dúm, informing us that they are harassed by regular attacks of small groups of those beasts. It is not enough to threaten the defence of their realm, but still, it is worrisome. We must be careful now, on the road to the mountains and if attacks worsen, or the events from the past week repeat we will have to deal with this problem. People would not be happy, for they are still counting on peace, but there will be no other choice. We do not want to have more funerals."

"But if it is not better to deal with them now, when they are weaker and not well organized?" I asked him. I had a feeling that letting those Orcs be wouldn`t do any good. What if someone takes control over them... what if someone already had?

He looked at me with a gleam in his eye. "Those were also Galadriel`s and Celeborn`s words. But we will not risk the lives of our people in pursuit of some imagined threat. Morgoth had been defeated long ago, his allies were smashed, the Valar gave us their pardon, realm of Numenor gleams in the West and our countries flourish." His eyes were hard now, like two grey stones, full of old wrath and pain he tried so hard to forget. " There is no new threat, no new shadow, it cannot be. If those Orcs dare to attack us again, they would regret it dearly. Until then we should enjoy the peace, not wondering how much blood another war may cost us, for there may never be another one."

I stand here for a moment, pondering over his words.

"The world holds many secrets. Are you sure you know them all, Celebrimbor?" I said to him quietly and in my voice sadness was hidden, the sadness about the future which may not be in my power to change.

He looked in my eyes then, and stayed there, watching. There was something in his calm gaze that made me lower mine. The evening breeze moved the blades of grass around our still figures.

"No," he answered at last and his voice was calm. "But we have suffered enough and we deserve to live happily, in the homes crafted by our own hand without fear that something will tear our families away. We deserve the light of sun, the shade under the boughs of our beloved trees, the singing of birds, the call of the sea, not the clatter of war, where our lives mean nothing, where we will be left, to bleed to death in the dirt or to mourn the loss of our loved ones. Surely the Valar realize that."

With that he left the training grounds and soon the fast approaching shadows swallowed him. He didn`t even start to practise. I stood there for some minutes, feeling the emptiness in my chest. Then I put the bow back in its place and climbed the old oak of low branches. I sat high in his boughs and watched the stars, reliving the events of this long day, sunken in my own thoughts. Nothing was how I thought it would be, and I felt lost and uncertain. Many hours passed until I went to rest.

* * *

please, review!

And the winner is KiyaJinnSkywalkerKenobi.


	8. The Hunt

_Hi guys, sorry for a long break but I had very hard time at the end of the school year. This chapter is the longest I`ve ever made, so I hope you`ll review and tell me what you think about it. But I must say that I have several ideas for the plot, so I`m not sure if I will post any chapter during holidays. I will write them, but I think I should be a few chapters ahead before I post them here to have the plot better planed and to be able to correct any possible mistakes I made. If I handle this faster I may post something before September, but if not, then don`t worry, I won`t abandon this. :) _

* * *

_A fire. The smell of burning. Hungry flames crackle, licking blackened trees and abandoned houses and yet a sinister silence can be felt. I`m running down the street, gasping for air in the fumes of choking smoke. I barely dodge the falling branch of a charred tree, which shatters on the blackened stones of the road in the shower of sparks. Tears are running down my cheeks while I am sprinting and in my head flutter frantic thoughts. I must make it! It cannot end like this! It will not... I ignore the rising suspicion that maybe it`s already too late and I am running towards my own death. My lungs are burning, but I still run. I cannot breathe. I cough violently, trying to throw up the smoke. I cannot breathe. I stumble and fall to the ground. The stones are so hot, they are burning my skin. I cannot breathe. No! It cannot end like this! It... can...not..._

I sat on the bed, gasping for air. I felt as if someone had punched me in the head. Terrible pain was burning my temples and I started to rub them with my fingers to ease it a little. I scanned the room, noting the door, window, closet and walls of small bedroom, in which I had spent the night. Remnants of the nightmare were still smouldering in my head like shreds of glowing ash, but they were quickly fading. I tried to grasp them, but I acquired only the vague feelings of terror, heat and despair. I shook my head. Suddenly the room seemed too cramped and walls seemed to clench, choking me. Not able to bear it any more, I got off the bed, threw a coat over my shoulders to cover my nightgown and went out to the corridor. I passed the marble walls, their surface glistening gently in the glow of azure lamps, attached by the ceiling. The flames, closed in transparent, spherical lampshades, were flickering lightly, though there was no draft. Famous Feanorian lamps. I need to know, someday, how they make them.

Finally, I reached the door, leading to the vast porch and I was happy to breathe in the fresh, night air. It was a moonless night, but the stars were shining so brightly, that I could discern the shapes of objects lying far away with ease. Cool wind moved blades of grass and the folds of my coat and cicadas were filling the twilight with their music. Instinctively, I reached my falcon with my mind and caught the fringes of his dreams. They were calm and peaceful: the lightness of feathers mixed with the feeling of an incredible freedom. I withdrew, not wanting to wake him.

The nightmare left my mind almost entirely, leaving only a vague feeling of helplessness, so I turned my thoughts to different matters, to chase it away. I had a few of them in the past and all attempts of remembering them ended up with painful head, nothing more. I started to ponder over how my life had changed since I entered this city.

I have been living in Ost-in-Edhil a few months now, and it was one of the best periods in my life. Several weeks after that memorable combat with Orcs my skills returned to me, bit by bit, and I could focus on improving them. My skills in using close-combat weapons were anything but good, especially compared to other Elves, who have had ages, millennia even, to practise, but I soon became one of the better archers. Although, I haven`t had major competition, because most of the town`s warriors preferred sword or spear over bow, I was glad I can defend myself and that I can stave off most of the suspicion about my origin. Then again, hardly anyone`s eyes surpassed mine and the name "Rovalhen" stuck to me for good. I guessed it was because my bond with Alcar, but I haven`t told anyone about it, not wanting to reveal the essence of this bond. Even among "my own", as I have come think about the inhabitants of Eregion, it was wise to have some advantage.

The bond has resulted in not only physical changes. I started to be more attentive, when among others, unconsciously noting their characteristics and small gestures that could tell me their character. The world, that overwhelmed me at first, now seemed to me a huge repository of knowledge and incredible phenomena, it charmed me with its wildness and beauty. What awed me particularly was skimming forests and rugged mountains and I have spent many hours, hunting among the wild backwoods. Once I thought reluctantly about hunting for animals, but with time I loved this specific clash of skills of hunter and its prey. I hunted mainly for old and sick animals, respecting what I caught no less than what has escaped me. I`ve never dealt unnecessary pain, remembering, with disgust cruelty of Orcs and, with sadness, a large part of humans. Of course, the Elves also repeatedly showed their dark side, but the wounds they dealt to the others, they usually previously received themselves. Amazingly, during those lonely trips I didn`t come across any Orcs or other sinister creatures. Sometimes only I would find strange footprints, single prints of shod boots or big paws, but I have never got to see their owners. Still, I worked very carefully.

However, not everything was so beautiful as it might seem. Although Cartelion, never once has showed me the open or concealed hostility since that fateful feast, I still did not feel well in his company. Sometimes I could have sworn I feel the chill emanating from him, even if at the same time he was leading with someone, or even with me, a polite conversation. Many times I tried to read something from the look on his face, talking to him or watching him from the corner of my eye, but it gave me nothing. Just as fruitless proved to be spying escapades, led by Alcar. After a while, I stopped fearing Cartelion, and though I was still observing him from time to time, I started to wonder if this whole nightmare, hidden beneath the surface of his mind, was not an ordinary hallucination, caused by some temporary weakening of my still healing fëa.

My ruminations were interrupted by a sudden sound of a door opening. Someone went outside, in the middle of the night? From my spot on the side of the house I had a perfect view on the staircase leading to the main door. I saw a tall figure dressed in a gray coat, which disguised it well in the dark, so I had to strain my eyes to trace it. The figure went quickly down the stairs and headed towards the cluster of old trees growing nearby. After a while, I recognized Cartelion`s distinctive way of moving, which I learned to recognize during the long hours of watching him. I frowned. What's he up to? My suspicions, suppressed by the fruitless investigations, have risen again and I reached for Alcar`s mind, waking him from sleep.

~ _Talia... what`s the matter...? You wanted to hunt at night, again? I am glad that you approach this with such enthusiasm, but did you have to wake me up? I`m not an owl!" _I heard his annoyed voice.

~ No, be quiet and listen!" I replied to him quickly. ~ Where are you?"

_~ On the walls west from the house of Celebrimbor. Why do you ask?"_

~Come quickly, I just saw Cartelion, walking through the main door. He looks like someone who wants to remain unnoticed."

I immediately caught his attention. _~ Do you still see him?"_ he asked.

~ No, he disappeared in the trees. Hurry up, maybe you will still find him!"

I felt as he jumped up to flight and rushed in my direction. I joined my mind with him, and suddenly I could see through his eyes, feel what he felt. I had a great desire to enjoy the flight and cool air under the wings, but we had more important things to do.

I led him in the direction of the band of trees, where Cartelion had disappeared and we started looking for him. It wasn`t easy - Alcar`s sight was dulled in the dark, despite the starlight, and Cartelion`s gray coat didn`t help matters either. We tried to spot him for a full ten minutes, flying around trees and out of the gate, but we still couldn`t see him. We began to lose hope when Alcar`s eyes finally traced him, standing under a big tree by one of the forges. Alcar landed quietly on a branch of one of the nearby trees, folding wings. We watched Cartelion, who was still standing under a tree. I thought he was whispering, but I couldn`t be sure because of the hood that concealed his face.

Suddenly a great raven, one of many nesting in the area, flew from the branch onto the Elf`s shoulder. It wasn`t an unusual view, because the birds trusted most of the Elves and weren`t afraid to come near them. The strange thing was what happened later. Cartelion`s eyes, hidden under the hood flashed with a cold gleam, with the same light also blazed his hand. He quickly clenched his fingers around the bird`s head, which screamed terribly, but its screams stopped instantly. The Elf let go of the bird, which shook his head and froze on his shoulder like he was carved out of stone. Cartelion pulled a scroll of the parchment from under his cloak and tied in to a raven`s unmoving leg. Then he released him, raising his hand, as falconer releases his bird to a hunt. Raven flew up in the air and to the east. Alcar wanted to go after him, but I stopped him. Cartelion would surely have seen him then, and we couldn`t let that happen.

Meanwhile, the Elf walked toward the tree, which Alcar sat on. I felt bird cringes and holds his breath. Then Cartelion paused, as if sensing something and looked around. Alcar`s heart suddenly sped up, and mine with him. Few terrible seconds passed behind. I prayed silently for the elf did not looking up, for then he would surely noticed the clear silhouette of a falcon. There was silence in the air, even the cicadas didn`t play. Alcar froze on the tree, afraid to move.

Then Cartelion shook his head and moved on. A wave of relief washed over me so strong that I broke contact with the falcon. Quickly I took a grip on himself, realizing that I should come out of the sight, because returning elf will certainly see me. I opened the door and slipped out into the corridor, which seemed much less pleasant than it was before. I went to my room and removed the cover, covering the lamp, filling the room with a mild, blue light.

I connected again with Alcar. Falcon was flying over the forest towards the mountains - he had hoped that maybe he could still catch up with the raven. However, the bird disappeared for good, his black feathers have effectively hidden it from Alcar`s eyes. The pursuit was hopeless, so we started to pondering over what we saw. The Elves that saw the Two Trees radiated with a specific brilliance, but Cartelion was not one of them. His light was too strange, cold and sharp, unlike the aura of any of the other Elves. No wonder he was hiding it. And where did this power, which allowed him to control animals, come from? To whom was addressed the message sent by a raven? Why has he done it privately, in the middle of the night if not for that no one saw? We were pondering over these questions, given what we knew about the history of Middle-earth and our recent experience, but we didn`t find the answers. In the end, frustrated, I broke contact. With the hope that the morning would bring new ideas, I laid down on the bed and let my mind wander in the lands of dreams. However, neither sleep nor the morning sun have brought me an answer.

* * *

"Rovahlen, Celeborn says it will be better to follow the trail in daylight." I heard Celebrimbor`s voice behind me. "Within several miles the forest will thin in a small clearing at the foot of the mountains. We will make our camp there."

I tore my eyes from the print of great paw I examined and nodded to him. I sipped some water from my skin, tied it again to my belt and followed Celeborn, who led our group. We sped fast amid the trunks of trees, where darkness has already started to descend. Our gray coats hung over our shoulders, hiding our figures, which blended with the shadows. Alcar was flying above us like guardian spirit, his wings were blurred in silver streak. Celeborn was right, despite our strong eyes we would not be able to follow the trail in the night, without missing some important clues. Given the nature of our prey, we had to be careful.

It's been a few days since Cartelion`s strange night trip. Since that night I havn`t had much time to reflect upon the reason, because the next morning I set off, together with a group of elves with Celeborn and Celebrimbor at the helm, on a hunt for a strange kind of wolf, whose traces I found two weeks ago. I saw immediately that this was no ordinary wolf, because his legs were twice as big as my hand and he left behind a trail of dead, half-eaten animals. It was as if he were still hungry, or killing for fun. It wasn`t normal behaviour, so I returned to the city as soon as possible and informed Celeborn about this. Lord of Eregion was disturbed by the news and he decided to lead a group of hunters who will track down the beast. Celebrimbor decided to go with us, because he heard about an interesting complex of caves, nor far away from the place where I found the trails and has long planned to examine them.

The first stars already pierced the veil of dying rays of the sun, when we reached the clearing. We went down the slope of sizeable hill to the place where the wood thinned, revealing a small glade. On its eastern edge were standing a series of rocks, passing to the steep wall of mountains, overgrown at the bottom by a forest of spares pine trees. From its slopes flowed a swift river, which, writhing among the grasses, ran into the woods and disappeared in the darkness. We lit a fire under the shadow of one of the rocks and sat with his back to it. There were ten of us in the group - me, Celeborn, Celebrimbor, seven elves, of which I only knew Liria and Finarin, plus Alcar and two horses, which carried with them the provender, needed during this long expedition. Celebrimbor wanted to take the horses for each of us, but Celeborn said it will be better to follow the trail, sticking to the ground, not on the horseback.

The evening passed very nicely. We were tired of the long march, so we didn`t set off on the hunt, we just pulled a meat and herbs from the horse`s bags and cooked a stew over the fire. After the meal Celeborn went to the horse and pulled something from a strange package, which I didn`t notice earlier. I widened my eyes when Sinda came up to us and firelight fell on the beautiful lute, made of silver and birch wood, which he held in his hands. Celeborn smiled, seeing the wonder in my eyes.

"Beautiful, it is not? I got it from Daëron, my dear friend, at a time when only the stars lit up the darkness of this world, and the powerful kingdom of Doriath lasted in happiness, ruled by King Thingol and protected by a network of Melian spells." His eyes brightened slightly as he looked at the starry sky , returning to the old days. Then he raised his instrument and began to play, and the music flowed from his fingers like water, forming in my mind images of dancing sparks of starlit heavens, intertwined with shadows and streak blue dress. I closed my eyes, letting myself be carried away by melody, listening to the half-alien, half-familiar words:

Daeron in his heart's delight

now lived and played by starlit night,

until one summer-eve befell,

as still the elven harpers tell.

There now she stepped with elven pace,

bending and swaying in her grace,

as half-reluctant; then began

to dance, to dance: in mazes ran

bewildering, and a mist of white

was wreathed about her whirling flight.

Wind-ripples on the water flashed,

and trembling leaf and flower were plashed

with diamond-dews, as ever fleet

and fleeter went her wingéd feet... *

The next day has passed similarly to the previous, when we followed the trail, meandering among the trees. Oddly enough, the wolf was no longer leaving bodies behind, as if in a hurry. Has he smelled our scent? I asked Celeborn about it, but he just shook his head, saying it was impossible, because we were going into the wind. But he was worried about something and that anxiety gave up to the rest of the group. We walked in a silence for a few hours, following the trail along the mountains, sipping from time to time the water from our skins and watching as the sun descends lower and lower, and the shadows become longer. I approached Celebrimbor.

"I was wondering what are you expecting to find in these caves. They must be truly remarkable if you decided to go on such a long and dangerous hunt."

He looked at me with a flash in his eye. "Dangerous? I know how to fight, Rovahlen, about which I think I convinced you already."

I send him a crooked smile. Over the few months since I was here, I learned to like this wise Elf with wry sense of humour. When he heard that I have "forgotten" most of the techniques of sword fighting, he decided to teach me by himself. His techniques were quite brutal – we just drew the swords, and I had to defend myself against him. It was a disaster, at least initially, because I have never really had a sword in my hand, and he was one of the best warriors in the city. After a while, I started to go better and better, and the number of my bruises significantly decreased, but I knew that the sword will never be my favourite weapon. Celebrimbor also took me to a forge a few times and showed me the basics of forging and metallurgy. He taught me how to upset, draw out and peen the steel to shape it in desired form. It was a fascinating job and I decided to ask him for more guidance as soon as we return from the hunt.

"Rovahlen?" I came back to reality when I realized that the Elf was talking to me. I looked at him apologetically.

"My apologies, I was lost in my thoughts. So, what is so wonderful about those caves?"

Celebrimbor looked to the south, where the jagged peaks of the lower mountains stretched out of sight. "I'm not sure, I've only heard rumours, when I visited Khazad-Dúm the last time. Apparently they are very beautiful and rich in various kinds of rare materials. I`m not wont to pass such an opportunity" he added with a slight smile.

"Why, then, the dwarves had not yet explored them? You'd have had a lot more than the rumours, if they were already there. "I asked, surprised.

Celebrimbor frowned, pondering the question. "I am not sure. It seems to me that they had sent a group of craftsmen there, after they discovered them, but it did not come back or has never arrived there. Normally they would examine it, but because of the increase in the number of Orcs they did not have time to think about it. Anyway, the Orcs were probably the reason of this disappearance."

"And how do we know there are no Orcs in the area?" I asked, suddenly worried. I didn`t want to repeat this close-meeting experience to soon.

"Do not worry, we had sent the scouts ahead." answered Celebrimbor reassuringly. "They found some marks, but they were very old. We should be worried, if they knew we were coming, but because they do not, we may only come across a single one, which should not be a problem for us." He wanted to say something else, but at this point Celeborn stopped the group, raising his head. Celebrimbor frowned and approached him. Together they talked in hushed voices, looking very anxious about something.

The trail led us into a small ravine, wooded on the one side, leading deeper into the mountains. Not very far away loomed a few uneven, dark holes, probably the caves we talked about. I wanted to go up to the leaders and ask what`s the matter, when I felt a brush of Alcar`s thoughts.

_~ Talia, something is not right. Around there is no game, or birds, and the whole forest is strangely quiet. Watch out for each other. "_

Celeborn stood for a moment, listening. Then he probably decided it will be better to get out of the ravine and he led us to the band of open land, separating us from the wall with the entrances to the caves. We followed him in silence, watching the area attentively. Indeed, the ominous silence and tension hung in the air as if a thunderbolt may strike any moment.

Then I heard a terrified scream from Alcar, which also echoed in the minds of the rest of the group members. ~ _The forest - watch out!"_

We turned our eyes to a number of trees and in spite of the shadow, which descended after the sun was down, we could see the black mass cramming among the trunks. For a moment I wondered what it was, but then the mass broke the tree line and there fell on us, like ants from an anthill: a screaming pack of Orcs.

Holy shit, again? - ' I only had time to think of before we rushed to the nearest wall, using the same tactics that I saw when I first met the elves. We wanted to have the wall behind us. Celeborn slapped the horses on their rumps and ordered them, screaming, to flee, before he raced after us, making long strides and pulling his spear. A swarm of crazed Orcs raced after us like a cloud of angry hornets. Luckily we had the advantage of distance. We reached the foot of a steep hill and lined up in a hasty formation. I, with two other archers pulled back to the rear, and the remaining seven, together with Celeborn and Celebrimbor stepped forward to shield us. Alcar circled low over our heads, ready to dive.

I would probably be terrified, if I had time for this, but a moment later the black cloud struck us. For a time I didn`t know what was going on, I focused only on killing as many enemies as I could and not letting them get to close to me. I watched as not far from me Finarin fell, as Celeborn with increasing difficulty pushed enemies back, as Celebrimbor lashed around him with a look of cold fury on his face, but I felt nothing. I fell into some kind of trance - there was only me and my next target. When I ran out of arrows, I pulled the sword that I chose from the forges of Gwaith-i-Mirdain and stood by the side of Celebrimbor, trying to shield him. It wasn`t easy, because the Orcs kept pressing on us more and more fiercely, and our forces were not inexhaustible. I let myself look at our group – six of us left. Then the tip of a sword pierced my arm and blood spattered my tunic. Moments later, I barely saved my fingers, when some Orc swung his blade at my other hand. However, the will of survival let me ignore the pain and keep fighting.

Suddenly the Orcs withdrew from us. They moved a few steps back and stood there, looking around anxiously and shouting something to themselves in their raspy tongue. There were still a lot of them, too many for us to defeat them. I shook my head, trying to fight off the wave of exhaustion and pain engulfing me, and trying to make sense of their strange behaviour.

Then out of the darkness came out a beast. Like a streak of fur and claws it threw itself onto one of the Orcs, dug its teeth into his neck and bit off his head with one pull, which came rolling a few feet away. The rest of Orcs scattered and sped back toward the forest or in the mountains. But I was not looking at them, only at beast which abandoned the Orc`s headless corpse and was now circling us like a wolf, getting ready to leap on defenceless flock of sheep. And indeed it resembled a wolf, the wolf measuring nearly five feet, armed with long fangs, claws like daggers, beast with madness burning in its eyes and covered with tangled, black fur. Whatever it was, it did not look like a wild Warg, which we previously took it for, when we were following its trail. Wargs rarely grow up to such proportions and certainly do not have such eyes. Also, Orcs don`t escape when they see one.

I looked back at my companions. Only four of us were still on their feet, including Celebrimbor. Two others lay in the dust, moaning in pain. One had his belly cut open, from which a continuous stream of blood trickled, and the second, in whom I recognized Celeborn, was trying to stop the bleeding from his leg, but it was clear that he needed immediate help. I glanced toward the wolf. The beast has already strained to jump on us. It was possible that we could handle it, but we would waste the precious time needed to rescue the badly wounded. I looked back at the beast with determination in my eyes, and it gave me a hungry gaze, baring its fangs. I knew that I only had a few seconds to react.

"Celebrimbor!" I cried out in a hurry. "See to the wounded, I`ll distract him!" I saw as his eyes widen in an expression of horror and he shakes his head negatively, before I raced toward some breach in the hillside. I heard the pounding of wolf`s feet as he was chasing me, the lone victim, just as I had expected and flapping of Alcar`s wings, who flew to my help. I felt sudden relief - at least he's all right.

I ran into a small ravine, narrower even than the previous one, and for a moment I thought that maybe I could get away. However, after the next bend I encountered another wall. I stopped abruptly, looking around in panic - all slopes rose steeply - I could not climb. Behind me I heard a gasping of giant wolf and I turned to the beast, raising my sword toward it in a pitiful attempt to defend myself. His eyes sparkled with murderous glee, and red tongue pushed outward, revealing a row of sharp teeth that could not wait to clasp around my neck. I knew that even if someone ran to help me, he wouldn`t make it. These were my last moments of life.

Then Alcar dove, spreading out sharp claws and screaming shrilly. The wolf howled furiously when the blood trickled from his eye, pierced by a claw. I felt a twinge of hope and rushed to help my falcon, but at the same time the beast waved his clawed paw and stroke Alcar, who came flying a few steps and slumped to the ground.

Hope turned into despair when the wolf turned to me again, his eyes blazing. This is how I have to end my life, which I have just begun to learn? In some mindless beast's claws? Despair gave way to fury when I threw the wolf a death glare and threw toward him tentacles of my mind, wanting to strangle him, to destroy him.

Touching his mind was a shock for me and for him as well. For him, because he has never felt anything like this, I could sense that. For me, just the opposite, because I've seen something similar somewhere, but my troubled mind could not remember where. Random scraps of thoughts fluttered furiously in his mind, like bees in a closed jar. His memories were filled by the sea of blood, fire and madness, and one desire only drove him: to hunt down, kill, tear to shreds. After a while I realized that this creature was once a normal animal, because I could feel the remnants of him, squealing desperately somewhere deep below the surface. Then I realized what I'm dealing with - it was not a wolf, or Warg, but a werewolf, an evil spirit locked in the body of the wolf, engulfed with madness, a survivor of the War of Wrath.

Again, I heard a weak squeaking, coming somewhere from the depths of the werewolf`s self and something inside me jerked. I pushed furiously on his mind, fighting with him in the only way that he understood, tearing him to pieces. I did not know where I draw the strength from, but I pushed forward. The werewolf tried to resist me, but his fever-consumed mind could not properly focus on me. His darting thoughts refused to obey him. From somewhere outside came the blood-freezing screams, but I ignored them, fighting not only for my own survival, but also for the freedom of this wretched being, who was too broken to even ask for help. At one point I found myself at the end of my strength and I began to fear if I would manage. I knew that if I let go now, I would be dead. The wolf could not resist me directly, but the scraps of his madness began to penetrate my mind like a parasites and I knew I could not hold out long.

Suddenly, like a ray of sunshine, Alcar came to my mind. I sensed that he was injured, but he still had enough strength to help me. He destroyed all worms that infected my mind and charged with me on the wolf, or rather on the foul spirit, which occupied his body. He pushed for his last lines of defence, that lasted for a moment, but then snapped under the pressure. I felt as if we had just broken the dam, when a wave of memories of the evil spirit smashed me. They scurried at dizzying speed before my eyes, threatening to wash away parts of my own self, before I managed to break free and withdraw.

I sank rapidly to the ground, as if someone has cut my legs. I vomited violently, clutching my head, in which flashed a terrible pain. My eyes went black and for a moment I thought I was blinded before I began to discern the soft starlight. Only after a few minutes I was able to stand on my feet. I looked around. Alcar was hopping to the huge bulk of wolf, dragging a broken wing. The beast lay on the ground, and the terrible light was gone from its eyes. I went closer when its body began to shake violently. He was still alive! I grabbed the sword, when his big eyes turned into my direction. But instead of blood lust and madness I could only see a great suffering and exhaustion in them, as if they reflected my own eyes. I stood there a moment, staring at the pitiful creature, before I realized that I can no longer help him. I walked closer and with one fast movement I thrust my sword into the chest of a wolf. The animal whimpered loudly, but then his head dropped, and all glow had faded from his eyes. Heavy eyelids drooped, and loose lip uncovered upper fangs. He was dead. I leaned my head, and tears came running down my cheeks when I was stroking tangled fur. I did not feel joy, preferably I would lie there and fall asleep to not have to think about anything anymore. Alcar pressed his head to my side in a silent gesture of support.

So Celebrimbor found me, all bloody, bent over the dead bulk of the big wolf, with tears in my eyes. He let out a loud cry, dropping the sword, then he sank to his knees beside me, shaking my shoulders and asking me about something with urgent voice. I looked at him blankly, not understanding. My brain did not register his words. Then, as if hit with a hammer, I felt all my senses coming back. I began to shake violently, and my throat tightened suddenly, when my breath turned into a quick and harsh. I felt as something lifted me up into the air. My body stopped at some point, but my mind raced towards the dark sky. After a while, darkness came over me and I knew nothing.

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*The Lay of Leithian, Canto IV.


	9. The Caves

Yeah, I have finally managed to find some time to fix the mistakes I`ve done in this chapter and post it! I was planning to do this straight after holidays, but my school wanted differently. And I had to finish the next chapter, because I want to always be one chapter ahead. I hope you`ll like it and it was worth hours spent scratching my head over the next plot twist.

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Some sound drilled into my brain, gradually snatching me from my unnatural slumber. _Drip, drip, drip._ I tried to chase it away like a fly, but it was still there. _Drip, drip, drip_, which drove me crazy. It kept floating me to the surface of consciousness like a buoyancy force.

Finally, I gave up, freed my mind and opened my eyes. I was looking at the dark, rough rock, brightened slightly by a strong light falling from one side and a weaker, reddish glow that flickered on the other. From the rock long, stone spikes were hanging, like the teeth of a monster, from which the water droplets were dripping slowly, falling on the floor with a splash. I frowned, when a sudden feeling of anxiety, caused by this association, overcame me. And then everything came back.

I gasped quietly and closed my eyes tight, as if trying to squeeze out from under them memories that now were flashing in my head. Yeah. I should have known that such an awakening does not bode well. Although the memories about the fight with the werewolf were slightly blurred in my mind, they were still quite vivid and I shuddered. The thing that scared me was not only awareness of how close I was to death, again, but also what have I done to avoid it. It frightened me, what I was capable of. To delve into someone's mind and cause such a devastation there? I tore the wolf`s mind into shreds and then I killed the wretched creature that was left. Had I really done it to help the wolf or was I driven by the same madness that overcame its body? I couldn`t remember. I couldn`t remember and it killed me. Did Alcar really destroyed all remains of evil spirit or were they still there, chomping its way through my brain, ready to strike in vengeance? I should probably be happy that I survived and helped the others, but I felt only fear and disgust.

In the end I managed to chase away these bleak thoughts, as I always do, and I stood up, opening my eyes again. I examined my surroundings. I immediately realized that I was in a cave. A glow on its vault, which caught my sight, fell from a narrow opening in the wall, through which came the bright light of day. A weaker flicker belonged to the dying fire, lit on a rock deeper in the cave. Beside a fire were two Elves – one was unconscious and the second, the one with silvery hair, holding a beautiful lute in his hands, I recognized as Celeborn.

He played quietly, weaving a sad melody and his silver hair shimmered slightly in the firelight. His tunic was dirty and tattered, he also had a fresh bandage on his leg, made from clean piece of cloth. Our horses must have returned then, otherwise he would have had to use a piece of his own clothing.

I stepped closer, swaying slightly on my feet and wincing, when the wound in my arm made itself felt. "Good morning, my lord," I said to Celeborn, kneeling by the flames and stretching out my hands toward the faint heat. Celeborn flinched at the sound of my voice and turned his eyes to me. There was a deep sadness in them, when he sent me a small smile. He removed his fingers from the strings of the instrument and put it down, looking into the fire.

„And yet again I must thank you for saving part of my people, me included" he said in a quiet voice. "I will not ask how you did it because I see in your eyes that you do not know yourself."

I looked at him, trying to read his face, but it remained inscrutable. "Celebrimbor told you about all this?" I asked, rubbing my fingers.

"No, he said very little" he answered. "When you disappeared, with the beast right behind you, he led the wounded towards the caves, then ran after you. He returned soon after, carrying you, semiconscious, with you bird, hopping after him. We stiffened Alcar`s broken wing, it should grow together properly. But you were burning up, babbling something about the blood, pain, and the fires of Morgoth, until the fever passed and you fell asleep. Celebrimbor only told us that the wolf is dead, because, in his madness, he jumped onto your blade. I did not believe him of course, just as he did not believe his own words."

He looked at me intently with his dark eyes, but I lowered mine, unable to withstand his calculating gaze. He nodded, as if to confirm his suspicions. "I will not be pushing you, but he will want answers, you know this."

I sighed, standing up. How typical of Celebrimbor, never letting go when he can get to know a secret. And certainly, when it concerns his people or new ways to defend the city.

"Then I had better find him and explain this to him" I said, glancing toward the exit. "Where is he?" I asked. I will figure out what to say to our Craftmaster while walking.

"He went to explore the caves, claiming that he wants to find something that will make our people`s deaths less pointless" said the Sinda, nodding in the darkness, leading deeper into the caves. "The rest of the survivors wanted to go with him, but I ordered them to find the horses and see if some orcs are still in the area. He clearly wanted to be left alone. You better take a torch, you will not see much in total darkness."

There were several torches beside the fire, apparently Celebrimbor made them before, in case anyone wanted to find him quickly. I picked one, pressing it to the hot coals, until it caught fire and went into the caves. An horrible stench permeated the air - a combination of faeces and rotten meat. Probably the remains of the Orcs, I thought, wincing and trying to breathe through my mouth. Fortunately, an elvish sense of smell was not much better than a human`s.

I walked on, wondering at the carelessness of Celebrimbor. Orcs certainly resided in these caves before and it wasn`t known whether they weren`t still inhabited by them or something worse. I shuddered, remembering the horror, which was still sleeping in the depths of Khazad-Dúm. I tried to chase away those thoughts, they were highly inappropriate for the lonely journey through the dark caves.

My soft boots trod silently on a bare rock. As I went, bats, frightened by the light, darted over my head, issuing high squeaks. The torch revealed also other things. In its glow some walls sparkled peculiarly, revealing the ores, hidden in them. Some I recognized, like gold or silver, but there were also blues, spots of yellow and purple crystals, bulbs of tiny white spikes and the veins of something that reflected the torchlight so hard, that it`s white brilliance dazzled my eyes. Maybe mithril?

After a few minutes I came across an underground lake, in which gleamed the pale oval shapes of blind cave fish. The caves diverted there. After a moment's thought, I chose the right path, treading carefully on wet rocks. Right behind the transition I came across a line of strange mushrooms, growing at the sides of the cave, with a rolled up black hats resembling half-closed cups of flowers. When the glow of my torch fell on them, their hats suddenly opened and at first they grew brighter to issue a reddish glow a few moments later. I continued walking, fascinated, watching the mushrooms absorb another torchlight, when it occurred to me that I had chosen the wrong path. Celebrimbor also had a torch, after all.

I went back quickly, following the glow illuminated by fungi and headed toward the second pass, the left one this time. I immediately noticed a dim, crimson flickering. There were fewer mushrooms in this path, but it was enough to indicate me which way Celebrimbor went. I quickened my pace, wondering what the Elf was thinking. He was so far ahead that if we were attacked, we wouldn`t have enough time to inform him. I also felt despair at the thought of our dead comrades, even if I didn`t know them well and I understood that for him it must have been much worse, considering the time of peace and that he knew those Elves for a long time, but it did not justify his thoughtlessness. I shook my head. Who am I to judge the actions of someone older than me by thousands of years? I was not even a real Elda and although they did not know this, in years I was only a child to them. Maybe he had a good reason, that Celeborn did not consider appropriate to tell me?

The stench grew stronger and in the darkness loomed piles of something I did not have the slightest desire to explore. There was no sign of Celebrimbor. I began to wonder whether to let go of caution and call the Elf when I suddenly walked out of another narrow passage, which I squeezed through, right to the edge of the abyss. With my heart in my throat I immediately stepped back, feeling its pounding in my chest like a frightened bird. I stood on the edge of a small ledge, hanging over the vast abyss, the bottom of which was invisible to me. Several meters below, standing on the lower ledge, I finally saw Celebrimbor, holding a torch. I exhaled slowly and looked around, searching for the descent and saw that on the right side of my ledge rocks were forming a sort of large, uneven steps, leading below. Going down wasn`t easy: I had to often hang on with one hand, holding my torch in the second. I had to be careful not to slip on the wet rock. A fall from this height would have been painful, if not mortal. I walked carefully then - I had no desire to see the Halls of Mandos just yet.

When I finally was down and glanced at Celebrimbor I saw him standing with his back to me, studying some dark mineral with his fingers. His tunic was in the same state as Celeborn`s, but he had a clean cloak over his shoulders. His hair was dirty and dishevelled. I probably wasn`t looking good either.

I walked over to him. "Celebrimbor, you should not have gone so far away from us after what has happened. If there was another attack..." I stopped when the Elf turned to me. His grey eyes were like steel, his mouth was clenched tight, as if in barely suppressed anger. Pointed apparently in my direction. It threw me off guard. Had I said something wrong...?

"Come, Rovalhen, let me show you something" he said quietly in a voice so icy that I froze in astonishment. I followed him hesitantly, unsure what this was all about, when he moved toward the opposite wall. He leaned over the remains of some creature that gave off a strong odour of decay, put the torch next him and gestured for me to join him. On the ground lay the bloody remains of a bird. Not much of it left, just a pile of chewed bones and some black feathers. Celebrimbor took a stained piece of parchment out of his sack and placed it next to the remains of the bird.

"Do you recognize this?" he asked so quietly I could barely hear him. I frowned in astonishment, put down my torch beside his and picked up the parchment. It was written in uneven Tengwar letters, but in some strange script, which I did not understand. It formed very long words and had very few breaks. I searched my mind. Black Speech, maybe? The earlier version? In some places the material was torn, and stains which I recognized as dried blood, covered some of the letters. I shook my head slowly, but then my eyes fell on the black feathers and understanding struck me. I opened my eyes wide and gasped in amazement and disbelief. One word was fluttering in my mind: why?

"So, you recognize" said Celebrimbor coldly. " Then may you would be so kind to explain this to me?"

I looked at him. How was I supposed to tell him? Would he believe that his friend ordered to kill him? "Look, I know that it may be hard to accept..." I started, but then he interrupted me.

"Hard to accept?!" he shouted, and I felt as if lightning struck me. I pulled away from him, horrified, as his face twisted in a grimace of terrible fury and his eyes were like thunder. He looked like he wanted to strangle me with his bare hands. "Answer me straight, do not twist your words like Melkor! Why did you do that?!"

"What, I-I ...?" I stammered, terrified, backing up more and more. What has gotten into him?

"Yes, you, you fool! In the name of what you decide to sentence me, Celeborn and our friends to death? Lust for power? Mad belief that after our deaths, our nation will begin preparations for war, which you so are afraid of? Or maybe you are one of those elves who were released from Angband, but your broken mind tells you to continue to operate to the detriment of other Eldar, just like your master would want you to do? Answer me! "He stood panting, thrusting a steel gaze at me for answers.

I stared at him, wide-eyed, uncomprehending. "Why are you accusing me of this?" I whispered. "Have I not fought twice already with you against Orcs, pulled the werewolf for you to survive, risking my own life? Why would I want your death and to deal with these scum?"

Celebrimbor snorted quietly, looking at me with a cold disdain. "Do you think you will fool me again with the same trick? You used the first attack, to buy our favour. You simply miscalculated your abilities and Orcs, in their rage, attacked you too. But the hunt for the wolf - that was your idea. You knew about these caves from the beginning! You and a few of my closest friends whom I trust utterly. You knew that I wanted to examine them. Only you could send a message to the orcs then, who you got to know during your trips into the wilderness, with the information where they can attack us" he said, pointing his finger accusingly me. He lowered his hand and shook his head. "Even the knowledge you may die with us did not stop you. I do not know if this wolf thwarted your plans, or if it was their part, and it were the Orcs that fled rather than finish the job, but, frankly, I am not interested in this. At first I did not want to believe it, because you seemed to me someone with a good heart, someone who just lived through a lot of bad things, like many of us, but now I see how wrong I was. Tell me what you wanted to achieve with this, because even though I try, I am unable to understand something like that."

I could only stand there, staring at him, frozen in astonishment. My mouth was dry, and my tongue seemed to be a piece of wood. It took me a few good seconds to get over the shock, and then the rage immediately took its place. How dare he accuse me? And I took elves for a reasonable race! It seemed they were not so different than humans, after all. "Listen, Celebrimbor" I hissed. "I do not know what madness overcame you, to throw such accusations with only a handful of conjectures, but before you throw them left and right, you should get a better look at your own house!"

His eyes darkened as he narrowed them looking at me with fury. "What do you mean?" he drawled.

"Cartelion, of course!" I yelled, before I could stop myself. "Do you really not see? Are you as blind as your grandfather, like your father? He is the one behind all this, he sent out a raven, he sentenced you to death!"

I immediately regretted those words. Steel flashed and before I could react, the tip of the Celebrimbor`s sword was on my throat. "How dare you?!" he hissed. "How dare you accuse someone who has been my companion for centuries, my most loyal friend. Who are you to spread venomous lies about him?! "

All the anger left me, when I looked in his darkened eyes. Now I felt only fear and despair. "Please, Celebrimbor, you had to saw something! I am not saying you should believe me now, but do not reject my words so lightly. I ... I will prove it, prove my innocence to you, just give me some time!" I said, desperately trying to convince him.

For a moment, he looked at me with unyielding, cold eyes, and his hand, holding a sword, was trembling slightly. I swallowed. Suddenly, with one swift motion he lowered his weapon and turned his back to me. "One month after we are back" he drawled, sheathing his blade. "You are forbidden to leave the city at that time. If you break the ban, there is another similar incident, or you do not prove your innocence in time, you will be expelled from Ost-in-Edhil with no chance to return. And do not expect that the opinion of Celeborn or Galadriel will change anything here. They will not refuse me in the current situation."

Having said this, Celebrimbor climbed to the first step and moved up toward the ledge, from which I previously went down. I stood rooted to the spot, rubbing my throat, as if trying to wipe away the feeling of the cold blade. I still could not get over what had happened. Tears, held up by adrenaline, rolled down my cheeks now, but I did not know if I`m crying because of despair, or anger. I was furious at Cartelion, for what he did, at Celebrimbor, because of the fact that he let himself be tricked like this, and at myself, that I could not prevent this, that I have not followed Cartelion more closely, that I did not go to Galadriel with this. Celebrimbor`s accusations hurt me more than I wanted to admit, because I already started to regard him as a kind of friend. I doubted that a month would be enough to solve the mystery of Cartelion and get relevant evidence. And to stop all his plans, I realize all of sudden, because if some bad thing should happen, Celebrimbor would immediately throw me out of town. I shook my head with a sigh and wiped my eyes. Tears will not help me now.

I leaned against the wall, thinking about what I had learned. Cartelion sent the raven, probably to the leader of the Orcs, with the command to ambush us. He did not know exactly where the trail would lead us, but he knew that we wanted to explore the caves, so there the Orcs were waiting for us. The Orcs, seeing the Black Speech, knew they had to obey orders. I did not know how Cartelion came to know the Black Speech, but decided to drop it for now.

The werewolf probably wasn`t part of the plan, but it was unclear whether we would have won with him. Thus, it was also not part of the plan to frame me in it all, though I doubted Cartelion would regret it. But what was the purpose of this whole conspiracy? Dudhe finally see me as threat big enough to get rid of me? I rejected the idea immediately. It would be much easier to just do this during my solitary trips into the forest, not to involve a whole group of other elves including the Lord of Eregion and Craftmaster. One of them must have been the target then. But which one? And why should Cartelion want to kill his friend or his Lord? As an elf who fought against Morgoth in the First Age, and who, as I have learned, had never been imprisoned in Angband, how could he become so evil? What goal was worthy of murdering friends?

I picked the torch. I might as well come back now, when I had already pulled myself together. I won`t find the answers, not alone and certainly not here. I confer with Alcar and we will try to devise some plan. I'll talk to Galadriel, she may believe me and decide to help me. I clenched my fists. Ost-in-Edhil was my home now, the best I've ever had and I will not let it be taken from me.


	10. The Broken Heart

It took longer than I thought, sorry for this. From now, I`ll try to post chapters every two weeks.

* * *

A choir of clear voices soared into the night sky, floating into the dark firmament. A shadow, as if symbolizing the grief of Ost-in-Edhil`s gathered inhabitants, was obscuring the sky, so that no star shone through the veil, and only pale light of the moon allowed to discern the figures, centred around a cluster of several newly formed mounds. The white walls of the town loomed nearby, a river branch was wrapped in a gray band of fog, that reached out the long, pallid fingers towards the meadows and the water it carried condensed on the blades of grass growing there in a silvery drops. Everything was dimmed, as if covered with a silk cloth or painted in dark watercolour paints.

At the head of the group stood Celeborn, Galadriel and Celebrimbor. Galadriel, dressed in a pale dress, sang in Quenya, raising her arms high, as if calling the Valar to be her witness. Her deep voice combined with others in a mournful chorus. Her long hair flew down her shoulders, a moonlight suppressed their golden glow, so they gleamed silvery, just like her husband`s, who was standing next to her. The sadness of her long life, which she usually concealed so carefully, now flowed from her like water from an overfilled goblet.

_Ai firin, man avánier!_

_ Nai ómanúmenyaron tulyastë_

_ tierisse minna i Mandos_

_ ar nai i Fuine laractastë tierisse ata…_

When she stopped, Celeborn took the initiative, telling about the life of those, who, by the corrupt nature of Arda, were forced to abandon their bodies. He didn`t omit their stumbles and failures, which were after all an important aspect of their lives. Some of the elves joined the pair when others stood with their heads bowed, their faces gleamed with sadness, resignation and anger. Celebrimbor was among those silent, but he stood with his fists clenched, and on his hardened, emotionless face only sometimes flashed his eyes, red-hot with anger.

I stood a few meters away from the group dressed in a formal dress, woven from some light material. Alcar settled himself on the rock by my side, so that our heads were at almost the same height. The falcon waved sometimes with his silvery feathers to shake off moisture, but otherwise sat motionless, staring with nearly unblinking eye into the darkness. His body was girded with by two straps, the longer one covered his chest and stiffened both wings at the top and the shorter stiffened the darts and his tail. Needless to say, Alcar wasn`t thrilled by this solution. However, this technique was known to me from the practices on the veterinary studies and I was pleasantly surprised when I learned that elves also know how to use it.

Singing falled suddenly and died in one long tone. The Elves, gathered there came, one by one, to the mounds, placing on them the bunches of knotted branches and flowers. I could not go out of town, so I had only a few wild flowers to offer. I place one at each of the mounds, their red petals gleamed accusingly. `_Stop it_` I scolded myself again. `_It's not your fault._ '

While I was returning, my eyes fell on Liria, my friend, with whom I used to go hunting. Tears glistened on her cheeks as she watched without a word a mound, lying far left, which contained Finarin`s body within itself. I felt a pang in my heart. She and Finarin recently got married and would have lived together for many centuries. Again, I was overcome by guilt. I lifted my head to throw a glare in the direction of Celebrimbor, just to see that he beat me to it. His eyes bored into me like drills, but I didn`t give ground to him. I was angry too. I wanted to rebuke him even further, but in the end I dropped my gaze with a sigh. There is no point in worsening my still not too good reputation.

* * *

Two days later, the dawn found me sitting on the walls of the city, observing water birds, which floated above the river. In the back of my mind I felt Alcar`s jealousy – he couldn`t fly for several days and it seemed he would remain grounded for a few more weeks. I convinced him to spend most of this time in the hunting lodge, near the eastern gate, where there has always been someone, and to where I decided to move after this whole cave disaster. I did not want to be under one roof with Cartelion and Celebrimbor in his current state. I did not want to risk that some 'accident' would happen to Alcar, while alone in my room. At the same time I lost all hope for any more discrete tracking of Cartelion, but I didn`t care about it that much - Alcar has never managed to track down anything vital, beyond that one night.

~ _Hey! The next time you will be following the prey and I will be sitting, while pondering the meaning of life, if it does not suit you!"_ I heard the irritated voice in the back of my head.

~ It`s called planning, Alcar" I answered him patiently.

_~ Well, whatever. But you can do your 'planning' on your way to Galadriel, to whom, as you well remember, you were supposed to go yesterday, after you clear your weapon and clothes and look to the leg of this horse, which you insisted to do and which took you a surprisingly long amount of time." _

"Yes, yes, I know!" I interrupted him. He became so grouchy since he broke his wing!

But he was right, of course. Just when I realized that I would probably be forced to summarize for Galadriel everything that had happened since I met Cartelion, including the fight with a werewolf, there suddenly were dozens of excuses and hundreds of other things to do. I had no idea how to convince her that it was not me who standing behind the last attack of Orcs, but Cartelion. She seemed to be more reasonable and calmer than Celebrimbor, but I had no guarantee that she would believe me. Besides there was a feeling that bothered me from some time, the growing suspicion that all my actions are drastically changing the course of history, which I did not want to change. Eventually, the final ending appeared to be the happy one. What if I change the story so much that everything would collapse? I wondered if Eru actually gave me a free hand and I was afraid of the answer to that question. On the other hand, history may have been changed already, that wouldn`t have surprised me much, based on recent events. What if only some specific action from my part could steer it back to the track? I didn`t even know if it was time travel or space travel. Or maybe both? I covered my eyes with a silent moan.

In the end I decided that I would listen to Alcar. What is to be will be, it does not make any sense to postpone it. I did not have much choice anyway. I only hoped that the future Queen of Lorien wouldn`t force me to reveal everything for her help. I preferred to keep to myself the information about who I really am and where I came from, as long as possible.

I broke the connection with the falcon, and slipped out of the wall on the stairs, which went down a narrow street. I turned at the corner of a house, heading to the west of the city. I had not even looked at the sun to assess the right direction – my elven senses coped with it quite well. The worst thing was my orientation in the field. I`ve always been awful at it as a human, and although my current state helped me a little, I was stillthe object of Liria`s jokes, when we hunted together. The fact that I had never once gotten lost for more than a few hours when I was alone, I owe perhaps only to a lucky chance and a compass in my brain.

I have just left one of the main streets and I was about to turn on a path that led directly to Galadriel`s house, when I heard someone calling my name. I turned and saw Liria, who was walking in my direction. Slinging across her back was the short bow and a quiver, made from a tanned skin, full of arrows, fletched with feathers from a pheasant. Beside her walked the tall Elf with hair in the same pale yellow colour, in whom I recognized Laren, Liria`s brother. They were very much alike, except that Liria was a lot shorter than he, cheerful and witty, and he seemed to be more quiet and calm. This time, however, it was almost the opposite, it was Liria that seemed subdued and quiet, and Laren tried to cheer her up.

"Good morning, Liria, Laren" I greeted them, looking at my friend with a concern. Glow of her feä was weak and uneven, she probably forgot to hide it. Her eyes too were pale and bland, and the corners of her mouth fell slightly, as her upper eyelids - the unmistakable grimace of sorrow. "What brings you here?" I asked after a moment.

"I wished to persuade Liria to train with someone on the archery field, but, as I was never good at it, I thought we will go and fetch one of the hunters" explained Laren in his calm voice. "We just saw you on the way and..."

"Please, brother, I am not inarticulate" Liria smiled at him slightly, but the smile did not reach her eyes, which were darker than normal. She looked back at me. "I wondered if you would find some time...?"

I was about to accept her proposal when I remembered where I was going and for what purpose. I grimaced. "I am sorry, but I was going to Galadriel. I just wanted to speak with her ... I wish to ask her about something important."

"Oh, but she is probably now at Celebrimbor`s. We saw her walking into that direction, so you would have to turn around to catch her. " replied Liria, looking at me uncertainly. Probably few were going to the Lady of Light 'just to talk'.

I thanked her and I passed them to go into that direction, when it occurred to me that after all I would have to go to the Gwaith-i-Mirdain`s headquarters, a place that I preferred to avoid for the time being. I had no desire to have any secret conversations there, as I did not want to be overheard. '_In the evening'_ I promised myself and turned again to catch up with Liria and Laren. I immediately congratulated myself for that decision, as Liria was clearly pleased. I told her to meet me at the field in a few minutes, said goodbye to Laren and ran for my bow, which I left in the hunting lodge. I grabbed my bow, but Alcar caught me before I could get out and I had to put up with his nagging about my person, which leaves everything at the last moment, for a few good minutes. In the end I had enough of this and I simply left the house, ignoring his piercing screeches and puzzled looks, casted me by two other elves, who happened to be there. With bow slinging across my back I rushed to the meeting place to spend a few pleasant hours with a friend before having to speak with Mrs Ost-in-Edhil.

When I reached the square, Liria stood before one of the targets, sending arrow after arrow, and the wind blew her blond hair. I walked over to her quietly, not wanting to disturb her concentration, but she immediately turned around, hearing my steps. I should really practise my sneaking. She smiled at me in a friendly way, and I was full of admiration, not finding any trace of sadness on her face. Only hands that clutched a bow a little too tightly and a tense demeanour betrayed her true emotions.

"There you are" she said, sliding stray strands behind a pointy ear. "What took you so long? Have you lost your desire to practise, knowing that you are no match for me?"

I smiled to myself, seeing something return of the old Liria, the one that I used to call the imp in my mind, due to her relatively short stature (could not have been more than 160 centimetres) and a sharp tongue.

"From what I remember," I bit off, "the last time, I had more hits in the head and it was not me who broke two arrows on the stand."

"No, because yours prefer the ground" Liria said with a small twinkle in her eye. "And mind you, I was not trying to cut off my hand with a string, several times."

"Oh, be quiet, you have won!" I said, chuckling. I leaned the tip of the bow against my ankle and put on the string. Then I set up on an adjacent track. "I am still working on my posture. Sometimes my hand twitches and arrows fly a little to the left. I had to correct my course every time."

"Lean your elbow a little, the hand will be more stable and the string will not strike you" She advised, looking at me sideways, as she was aiming at a target, with the string close to her nose. After a moment she let go of it, releasing her breath. The arrow hit a half inch from the centre of the target. "You see, nobody is perfect!" she summed up, pulling another arrow.

I snorted and pulled the bow. While I was sending more shots to their destination I felt most of the stress, grief and tiredness flowing from me. It was just me and the target in front of me and the rhythm of inhales and exhales. For a moment I could forget about all problems and relax.

After training I went with Liria to sit in the shade of a tree, growing on the edge of the square, to eat breakfast. So we sat, munching bread and cheese and talking about trivial matters, each wanting to forget the events of the past days. The reality, however, soon made itself felt when Liria invited me to the hunting.

"Apparently there is a herd of a plump deer in the area" she told me. "Rarely such game ventures so close to the city. Come with me, we can have some fun before... before something happens again." Her voice broke at the end of the sentence, turning to the whisper. She bowed her head and her lips tightened slightly.

I felt a little uneasy - in my previous life I was rather a loner and I didn`t always know how to behave when the other person was in a difficult situation. In the end I put a hand on her shoulder and said quietly:

"Do not despair, he is now in Mandos, and when he returns to himself, you will see him again. He will come one day healed and joyful, and you will feel as if this separation meant nothing." I almost winced, hearing how pathetic it sounds.

She looked at me with a gaze, in which grief mingled with hope. "Not everyone is coming back" she said, wiping her moist eyes.

"But he has too many reasons to do so," I continued, surprised that my approach actually was working.

Then I saw as her feä changed, brightening slightly, and her face was lit with a smile. "Thank you," she said, her voice became once again as clear and strong as before. "So, will you come with me? Will we hunt together?"

I opened my mouth to agree to her proposal when I remembered Celebrimbor`s ban. I frowned, shaking my head. "Forgive me, Liria, but ... I cannot."

"Why?" She asked, looking at me with amazement - Celebrimbor decided that until the situation is cleared, he will not advertise it.

"I ..." strained mind in search of some excuse, but nothing came to me head. "You see, I ..."

"Please tell me, Talia," she said, squeezing my hand. "You know you can count on me."

I rolled my eyes. Let it be her way. I told her in a hushed voice about what happened in the gorge, how... how I pulled the werewolf from my companions, distracted him and managed to pierce him with my sword and about the argument with Celebrimbor. I summarized the result of months of tracking Cartelion and my suspicions regarding the Elf. I stopped short of describing how I unintentionally broke into his mind. I could not. Just as I could not tell her about the real fight with the wolf. Something in me was blocking it, something which made a lot easier to lie than to recall those memories. Because behind them came others and they didn`t belong to me. Memories of killing other beings with mad joy, blood on the tongue and bones crackling between fangs, memories of orders given by a Being, whose every word cut like a whip and each order was the meaning of existence. I held my mind, before it could wander too far and looked at Liria, who was silent all this time. I flinched when he saw in her eyes a mixture of horror, anger and disbelief.

"Are you telling me that this bastard is behind the death of Finarin and so many others?" She shouted, leaping to her feet. "And Celebrimbor, rather than getting rid of him, allows him to put all the blame onto you?"

"Please, Liria, quieter," I said, raising my hand. She was right, of course, but still. "I do not want everyone to know about it."

"Why not?" She cried, her eyes were lit with a desire for vengeance. Too late I realized that I unintentionally gave her something that you should not give to the person in despair - a scapegoat. "Let this brood of Morgoth get what he deserves."

"Because I have no evidence, apart from what I saw!" I said, lowering his voice. "Celebrimbor will not believe me. The worst thing, I have only a month and no idea how to find it."

"And you did not go with this to Galadriel yet, because?" She asked, a glow in her eyes softened a little.

"I'm not sure what to say and ..." I trailed off.

"And you did not tell me everything, right?" Liria finished with a sigh.

I looked into her eyes. "Yes" I replied simply.

"Good," she said, leaned forward and began to pack their things.

"Where are you going?" I asked, surprised.

"Do you think that after all that I heard, I will just sit and do nothing?" She said sarcastically, buttoning her bag. "Especially when I found out that all of this may be my fault?"

"What are you talking about?" I gasped.

She turned to me, her eyes held so much grief that I felt pain in my heart. She stood there, looking at me and not knowing what to say. I've never seen her so helpless. I wanted to encourage her somehow, ensure that she can count on me when she said quietly:

"Those situations happen very rarely in our nation, but all of them, without exception are sad and tragic. I should have know that it will not end well, but I was too blinded by my own happiness, to pay attention to someone of whom I did not even wanted to think about much. " I wanted to ask her what she meant, but I decided to keep quiet. She will not stop now, when she already began.

"He always seemed so calm and composed. Therefore, when I sensed his feelings for me, I decided not to keep him longer in hope, but explain to him, just like that, that he will not have any future with me. I did not know Finarin then, who lived in Lindon at that time, but I knew I would never feel what he did. But he did not take it well. The next day, he went into the mountains, apparently, 'in a search of some valuable deposits'. When he returned a few months later, you could sense a change in him. He looked ill, but when I approached to speak with him, I was greeted by a smile and a nice word, as if nothing ever happened between us. I was surprised, of course, but I decided to drop it, satisfied that it does not hurt him as much as I thought. Oh, if I knew how wrong I was!" She exclaimed painfully.

I stared at her with wide eyes. She and Cartelion? Did I become so paranoid, that I believed in conspiracy, coup and dark powers, when the reason was as simple as a broken heart? Was the target not Celeborn, or Celebrimbor, but Finarin, the Elf who took what was denied to Cartelion? Yes, it would be extremely cruel and unusual action in a society of elves, particularly in times of peace and healing wounds, but I felt stupid that I did not think of that. After all, I am still a human in my heart! How could I forget about all those things which my real race was capable of?

"I ... do not know what to say," I said uncertainly. The memory of his mind was still bothered me. It was so dark, so ... evil. And what about the raven, and the Dark Speech? "Are you sure Cartelion would be capable of something like this?" I asked anyway.

"I do not know, Talia!" she exclaimed. She closed her eyes and let out a slow breath. "I do not know," she repeated quietly, opening his eyes. "But I have to look him in the eye when I ask him about it. Do not let him lie."

Wave of foreboding feelings washed over me, so strong that I could not ignore them. " Liria, do not do this" I said with certainty, that surprised me too. "You will discover nothing in this way, and he could be dangerous."

She issued a bitter laugh. "What worse can Cartelion do to me than confirm my suspicions?" I wanted to say something, but she didn`t let me. " Besides it was Finarin who was supposed to die, not me. He would not be able to do this. You do not have to worry about me. As for truth, I will squeeze it out of him, believe me. And if in this way I will help you shake off those false accusations, the better."

Having said this, she turned on her heel and walked confidently toward the Gwaith-and-Mirdain`s headquarters. I should have stopped her, tell her what I saw in the Noldo`s mind, convince her to wait a little bit. But I did not do this. I did not know what is true and what is not anymore. Months of asking myself the same questions undermined my confidence. Why should the Elf not kill for love, you know the story of Maeglin, do you not? The explanation so simple that it must be true. Besides, the bad memories began to mix with my nightmarish dreams, and I could not confidently describe what I really saw anymore. So I did not say anything and didn`t stop my friend, despite the growing sense of uneasiness. And while I was standing there, being in two minds, Liria disappeared among the trees.


	11. The Lodge

It`s harder and harder to write something now, when I must make sure that nothing I write gainsays my earlier writings. It`s probably the reason I can`t post chapters every two weeks as I thought I would and I`m sorry for that. I only hope that this story will keep you interested enough so to endure it. I`d appreciate any constructive criticism, as always.

* * *

A wind, swirling the lightweight leaves to a low dance, now rose up. Heavy clouds obscured the sky like a draperies, and a clear, crispy-fresh day turned gray and sultry. The sun hid its face. It looked like rain.

I scooted one of the narrower streets. The wind was flapping the loose pleats of my coat. I was not enveloped in it, I felt too hot already. My hair slid from a hastily formed bun and fell into my eyes when I walked into the wind. I brushed them behind my ears and turned one last time to reach my destination. I crossed quickly a few more meters and opened the door of the hunting lodge. I slid inside and slammed the door, shutting out wind and moisture. The house was much drier, but even hotter – apparently someone recently lit the fireplace.

I went through a hallway to the common room. There was no one there. In the hearth the last charred logs gave out. Around it stood a few leather chairs and a carved oak table. Alcar sat hunched by a window, his head tucked under his wing. In the morning I remade some of the strips so that he could move with healthy wing and sleep normally. I decided to leave him alone for a moment.

I took off my coat and sniffed. It did not smell so bad, but I decided to wash it anyway. I think I really wanted to do something mundane. I grabbed the pot and went outside to draw water from the well. Having done this, I went home, relit a fire, ignoring the stifling heat and hung the pot over the flames. When the water was warm enough, I poured it into a bucket, dipped my coat in it and began to rub vigorously. Elves do not use soap to wash clothes, so I had to do without it and washing took me much more time. When I walked outside to pour out the water, I noticed with some sadness that it was much less dirty than at the time when there was still normality and I could come out regularly to the forest on trips and hunting. Normality? Yes, that is how I saw it now. I wondered what would I call normality after a few more months. Sanity, maybe? Or maybe I would be dead by that time?

I sat back in front of the fireplace. I stared pensively into the buzzing flames for a moment, and then I stifled them again. I sighed. I looked at Alcar, who was still sitting in the same position. I touched his mind. He wasn`t sleeping.

"Alcar, I have to tell you something," I said aloud.

Silence.

"Look, I understand your anger. Yes, I did not do anything significant to get us out of this cesspit and to show Celebrimbor reason. But what should I have done in your opinion? It`s not like you had any plan."

Silence.

"Okay, I am sorry, happy now? Now stop pretending you are asleep and speak to me. I am tired, I have no desire to bump into your wall!"

_~ You see, it wasn`t so hard, was it? "_Falcon stuck his head out of his wing and looked at me with his glistening eye. _"What happened?"_

I switched to telepathy.

~ I went with Liria on the archery square ... "I paused when I felt his disapproval. "Stop this, she is my friend and she needed it! Besides, I did not have the slightest desire to confide with Galadriel in the same building where Cartelion walks."

~ _Fine, you were right this time_," he agreed reluctantly.

~ So when we finished training," I continued. "She ... invited me to go hunting."

~ _And you refused politely, adding a relevant explanation?_" Alcar asked sarcastically, tilting his head slightly.

I looked at him briefly. ~ No," I said. "I ... I could not lie to her, so ... as if ... I told her part of the truth."

_~ Which one?_" Alcar shot me a suspicious look.

~ The one about Cartelion, our investigation, suspicions, about the recent discoveries and accusations of Celebrimbor. Not much when you think about it."

He opened his beak a little, throwing me a sharp look. ~ _Are you sure it was ..._ "

"No, actually it was a very bad idea," I answered him aloud , standing up. I carefully send my mind upstairs to see if anyone heard me, but I felt only one elf in the most distant room, Sirian probably, who was polishing his bow, singing softly to himself. I retreated quickly, before he could feel me. "But how was I supposed to foresee that he will drop me such a bomb?"

Answering his questioning thought, I told him how Liria responded to my confidences and a shocking confession, which I witnessed.

"Normally I wouldn`t suspect any elf of such an act, but then I know the history of Arda, and Cartelion is not normal, whatever that means" I finished, sitting back in the chair and folding my hands on my lap. I looked at my nails. They needed cutting and brushing.

Alcar was silent for a moment, looking thoughtfully out of the window.

_~ Why don`t you want to go with this to Galadriel?_" He asked gently, sensing my distress. _"You said that this will be the first thing you do when we`ll return, then, when we struggled through the forest on those two horses. And now you are practically avoiding her."_

I really did not want to say this, but what was the point of hiding it from him? I did not want to argue with him any longer.

"It is because I am scared," I replied so softly that I could barely hear myself. I hated telling about my weaknesses, even to my closest friend.

~ _What?" _He looked surprised. I made a wry face.

"Because I'm scared," I repeated loudly, looking him in the eye with an effort. "Not long after we first met the Elves, I realized that I could never be one of them. I am a loner, an outcast and I always will be, no matter how much I wanted to forget about it. I am not a human, and even if I tried to join them, travel to Númenor, do you think they would accept me? Now, maybe still yes, but soon a shadow will fall on Númenor, and then there awaits me only envy and hatred. And if I would say Elves the truth, how do you think they would react? With fear, Alcar. Fear, or worse, with a hope that I can protect them from every disaster that awaits them, because I know the future, because I am a prophet. But I am no prophet, I am not an Elf, I am not even a human! I do not even know who I am anymore!" I could no longer control my emotions. I went on, swallowing my tears, trying to unburden myself. "And I don`t even have anyone to blame. Eru? He gave me a choice, after all! The Valar? They probably do not understand this situation themselves! Melkor, imprisoned in the Void, Sauron, sitting in Mordor? No, I chose this fate for myself!"

There was a silence. I heard the rain tapping on the window`s glass - a dwarven invention, and the muffled sound of storm-torn trees. Alcar said nothing. He sensed my mood well. Listening to the monotonous clatter of drops, I began to calm down slowly. In the end I rubbed my face with a hand as if I wanted to wipe off any excess emotions and weariness and I smiled sadly.

"Forgive me. I should not have whined so much. God, this world is draining all my strength! Had I know this...

~ _You would have come here anyway, wouldn`t you?" _interjected Alcar with a twinkle, stretching his tail as he jumped on the ground. "_Always keen to depart on adventure. I see now why you have been always so fond of Bilbo`s."_

I smiled in spite of myself. He always knew how to turn me on my right mind. "Yes, that too, but he was always resminding me of Tolkien. Or maybe Tolkien was remembering him? What do you think? What was first?"

~ _Add it to the list of things to ask the Valar about, when something finally kills you." _I glared at him. "_Though maybe not"_ he corrected himself after a second`s thought. _"It is still future to them."_ He jumped to a loose part of a floor in the corner of a room and tapped his claw in it, looking at me expectantly. I opened it and reached inside in the cold hole, pulling the raw meat. I gave it to him and he tore it form my hand. He held it with his clawed leg and started to tearing the lesser straps, devouring it, while extending his head rapidly. He looked at me with a bloody scrap, dangling from his beak.

I rolled my eyes and stand up. "You know it has no effect on me, right?"

I walked to the base of stairs, leading on the floor and climbed it. I opened the door to the second room on the right. I cracked open the wardrobe and took out a spare coat. It was made of gray, soft material, embroidered with blue thread and tied with a silver belt. I used it only in town, not wanting to damage it during hunting. It cost me a skin of a white deer that was rarely seen in this area. Although the Eregion`s currency was gold, as in most lands of Middle-Earth, the Elves had a particular fondness for a barter. It was a high price, but similar coat, only made from other materials, was worn by my mom when she was still alive, before cancer took her form us. It reminded me about her and the good aspects of my old world.

A questioning touch of Alcar`s thought tore me from my melancholy musings. ~ _Where are you going?"_

I donned the coat and went downstairs. I looked falcon into his dark eye. "Where I should have gone a long time ago. I still do not feel like it, but no matter, I don`t have much choice."

_~ She`ll understand you. If you think about it, she is in a similar situation. She also has some insight into the minds of others and I wouldn`t be surprised if she has a gift of clairvoyance. It`s like your knowledge, only less accurate and more irritating. Besides..."_ he trailed off. He seemed unsure whether to end that thought.

"Yes?" I encouraged him.

~ Besides," he continued. "Even if Liria is right about Cartelion, you should speak with Galadriel about him. He is dangerous and we don`t know what motives guide him. I wouldn`t wait until he performs his move, because it may be then that we won`t have time for ours."

* * *

The rain poured down as if Ulmo lifted a lake into the air and dropped it on our heads. Gusty wind for the fifth time tore my coat`s hood from my head. I pulled it back. I cursed under my breath. Here is the effect of postponing everything to the last moment.

I walked quickly through the streets of the city, heading west. I had to pass four miles, almost the entire length of the city. My coat protected me from the rain surprisingly well - streams of water flowed from it like it was made from duck`s feathers. My boots, on the other hand, had enough time to already soak through and the wet skin rubbed my sole. I'll have to remember to dry and wax them properly, otherwise they will fall apart in time.

The streets were mostly empty, though there were still more people on them than there would be in a human town this size. Several elves went unhurriedly, not worrying about the water bombarding them from the sky. I probably exaggerated a little, with all this escape from the rain.

Even though it was a late summer, it was dark out. Every few steps one of the trees growing by the road was laden with lanterns, perhaps a more widespread version of the Feanorian lamps. They gave off a surprisingly strong white light, like a cluster of small moons. They looked like a decoration for Christmas and I smiled at the sight, despite my low spirits. Not that I joyfully recalled that anniversary, but still.

Half an hour later I arrived at last to the place where I met with Liria and her brother in the morning, but this time nobody called me, when I turned in the appropriate path. It was not paved, as most of the routes in the city, but lined with flat river stones. Now it looked even more like a river, because of water, flowing between them.

The trees thinned, their whitewashed trunks glistened pale and triangular leaves whispered in whistling voices. They resembled the birch, but their trunks were high and thick, like ancient oaks. More like the entrance to a forest than part of the city.

After a moment's hesitation, I delved into the forest, trying not to slip. The rain dropped from the leaves in great drops that splashed on the path, weaving between trees. The light was more subdued than in the city centre and greenish. Among the trees grew wild flowers fighting for the surface with berry bushes, whose swollen, purple fruits leaned proudly from between small leaves.

In the end, I reached the central part of Galadriel`s "garden", where her house stood. It was a medium-sized building, a little larger than the lodge, made entirely of birch wood. The roof was covered with thatch woven with silver twigs, branches of the mallorns, probably. The house stood on a wide clearing, covered with a colourful carpet of flowers of different varieties, benefiting from the abundance of light. At the edge stood of a large fountain, water was dripping from a bowl held by a lady in a long dress, slender creature with statuesque silhouette. She stood with her head bowed, tears dripped from the corners of her eyes and into the bowl, shedding in silvery cascades into the pool below. The entire structure was overshadowed by two eminent mallorns that on sunny days were reflected on the surface of the water in golden flashes.

I knocked on the door, feeling my heart speed up and the clenching in the stomach. Oh, how I wish to have it already over with!

The second time that day, I heard someone calling me from behind. Clear voice pierced the sound of swashing rain like a lance.

I turned around. She stood by the fountain, where a moment ago there was no one. Her shady gown, flowing hair and motionless silhouette made her look very similar to the weeping statue. But her face was not sad, she looked at me impassively, surveying me with those piercing eyes of hers. I felt even more anxious.

"Good evening, my lady," I greeted her, wading toward her across the wet meadow. My voice, hesitant and low, was muffled by a wall of rain, but I think she has heard me. She hasn`t stirred, waiting for me to continue. In the end, I stood beside her. Despite knowing her for several months I felt still intimidated by her presence.

"I ... I wanted to talk to you about something, my lady," I started in the end. I paused, waiting for her response.

"Let us get out of the rain beforehand" Galadriel said at last, smoothing the fabric of her dress, flickering a water from it. "Come," she said, turning around and going deeper into the forest, in the opposite direction to her house. I followed her, surprised, though not without some relief.

We passed again into the forest`s gloom. Galadriel was barefoot, her dress made her blend with the shadows, her golden hair following like a wave of light. After a few minutes` walk we reached a large rock formation, not far from the western wall. Stones were piled on the massive heap, covered with moss and lichens and towered above us. The Elven lady turned left, and when I followed her, I saw a hole cut in the rock and stone steps leading into the darkness. Galadriel lifted the cover of the lamp, standing at the entrance, which flashed with a blue light and took it with her. We moved down.

The cave was shallow, at its bottom led just eight steps. It was a small, oval-shaped chamber carved in stone. The walls were smooth, lacking characteristic stone spikes every natural cave has. It must have been made recently, few dozens of years the most. In a corner of the room was beating a small spring, the water gathered in a small recess, flawed onto the floor and disappeared in a crevasse. A quiet splash indicated that it fell into another cave, delved probably for centuries by the water.

My attention, however, was now caught by something else. I stepped closer. At the centre of the room stood a tall pedestal, hollow and full of water. It was carved in a shape of a stone bowl, in its edges were set white stones. The dark surface reflected our faces, shining with the light glow of our feär. Galadriel's face loomed like a pale lantern, surrounded by a golden glow. By her I looked almost like a human, or rather as an Elf next to a Valië. My wet, brown hair hung in tangled pods, and dark eyes lacked lustre. My gray coat, now swollen with water, was hanging heavily from my back.

It was only when my eyes fell on arched silver pitcher, with a crescent-shaped ear, standing under the platform, that I realized what I saw.

The Mirror of Galadriel.


	12. The Intruder

The sonorous voice of Galadriel echoed from the walls of dark cavern. Shadows whirled in the corners of the stony chamber, when she stepped closer, lifting the azure glass in her hand.

"Do you wish to peer into my Mirror?"

I almost laughed. "No" I answered, not without some grim amusement in my voice. I didn`t want any more visions to haunt my dreams.

She looked at me oddly, raising her eyebrow slightly. She seemed distant and cool, lacking the brilliance and mirth which she usually radiated. She stood silently, looking at me dispassionately and I felt more and more uneasy.

Suddenly I heard the sound of quiet steps. They changed tone, trotting hollowly on the stone and a moment later Celeborn was standing on the top of the steps. He glanced in my direction shortly and then he descended the stairs quickly and leaned toward Galadriel, whispering something to her ear.

Galadriel turned to me, surveying me with her piercing gaze. "Tell me, why Celebrimbor deems you one responsible for latest deaths?" It was more an order than a question. Now Celeborn also bore his eyes in me, although his gaze wasn`t as demanding as his wife`s.

I froze under the weight of their gazes and I couldn`t as much as utter a word. Instinctively I tried to make up some parry, but nothing came to my mind.

"Rovalhen?"

Then I realized I was about to tell them the truth. I looked them in the eyes fearfully.

"Because... I killed a... werewolf?" I stammered, clenching my teeth.

Their faces had very peculiar look. Celeborn rose his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Surely you mean the wolf, which assaulted us, ay? The warg? But this does not explain ..." he denied, shaking his head.

"No, I mean a werewolf. The big - you know - long claws, eyes fiery with madness, fangs as long as daggers."

Galadriel threw Celeborn a questioning look, but he stared at me, frowning strongly.

"That is unfeasible. I have not seen it clearly, due to my wound, but that vile species died out an Age ago. You were in shock, bleeding and terrified, that was probably the case..."

"I was not in a shock!" I cried angrily, trying to break through their barrier of disbelief. "I thought I was going to die, that he would tear me apart and eat my innards, so I attacked him with my mind and I... m-managed to crush h-his soul." I finished, struggling over the last part.

They both gasped, shocked by my statement. Galadriel seemed even more transfixed than her husband, for she came to me quickly and caught my arm, looking intently in my eyes. She seemed looking for something in them. There was something about her gaze - anxiety and pity?- that made me shiver.

Then I felt as her hand clenched more tightly on my arm:

"Rovalhen, I need you to grant me access into your mind. I have no right to ask you this, but I have to, for your own good. It may be that we do not have much time left." Her voice quavered slightly. This convinced me more than all her words. I nodded.

She let go of me, straightened and closed her eyes. I was standing in the same spot, baffled. Should I too close my eyes and reach her mind with mine, as with Alcar?

Then I felt as if a soft cloth touched me. I looked around, but I saw nothing. Is this it? I closed my eyes and sent my thought to the place, where this immaterial cloth seemed to be. Suddenly I felt as if I had jumped to the other plane of viewing, or rather unviewing and I saw ... no,_ felt _the light. It was golden and dazzling, as the sun in the noon, but it pulsed oddly. I felt a familiar touch of soft fabric – material of light? – and moments later I heard her voice.

~ _Let me in."_

All right, but how? I examined my mind in this new way of seeing. It appeared to be the same thing, but it had a different structure, its content guarded by a thick walls. In the same instant I realized in fright that I was _outside_ of it. How is this even possible?! What will happen if I didn`t come back? Would I be forced to be a disembodied spirit?

But in a moment I realized that in fact nothing was wrong, that I can feel my mind and my body both and there was no reason to be terrified. I calmed down slowly and focused on the problem of how to let Galadriel into my mind.

I tried to lower those strange barriers around my mind, but they appeared to be inviolable. I tried picturing the door, though which she could came in, but I wasn`t able to create them. I tried to _come out_ to her, however oddly that sounds, but I was simultaneously inside as outside. Finally I came to a halt, or rather hovered, confused.

I felt that a feeling of choking anxiety, flowing from Galadriel, was clouded by her amusement.

_~ Have you never before taken part in osanwe?"_

_Osa-what? _I could only deny.

_~ Come, allow me to show you."_

I went up to her and immediately bounced into something hard with the consistency of warm glass. Her barriers? I figured they protected her mind, but I have seen nothing, save for the golden glow – the symbol of her feä. I paused, waiting for her instructions.

_~ The barriers, guarding mind of every creature are known to create gaps. They may pose as a threat, if we do not notice them in time. There are like breaches then, through which unwanted factors can enter, from bad emotions to negatively disposed fear, increasing the impact they have on us. That is why closing those gaps regularly is such a vital action. They are not a threat then, and can even be used to our benefit, as a door through which our fear can pass out, if the number of gaps is enough, and through which you can let someone in, with your permission." _Her glow paled, when she stepped behind her barriers and her voice became barely audible. "_The stronger and more expansive mind, the more often those gaps open themselves and the more susceptible is it to intrusion."_

_~ Then... someone can take over our minds by force?"_ I asked with fear.

_~ Nay" _she replied with a slight amusement._ "It is one of the unati."_

Then her aura darkened. _~ But there are other ways for this."_

Before I could ask for anything, she changed her position and her glow slowed to a heart beating in sleep.

~ _Look, now I will let you behind my barriers through one of the sealed gaps. We shall be there only a moment, but I ask you to not go any further."_

I wanted to nod, but I couldn`t, so I sent her mental confirmation. I was wondering how I could be both in my and her mind, and what the hell are _unati _and _osanwe_, but I decided not to ask. I had a feeling it was something I should have known.

When she summoned me, I joined her. She showed me how to find a breach in the barrier. It was an illusion of emptiness, but when I tried to go through, it turned out to be locked. Only when she opened the seal and invited me inside, could I slip inside her mind.

I was surrounded by gentel vibrations and quiet sounds. The soft blowing of the wind, joyful bubbling of water on the stones, swelling of sweet music, emerging and fainting beneath the other sounds – all created the atmosphere of tranquillity. For a moment I thought I heard the deeps sighs of the sea and its salty breath, but the impression was gone as quickly as it had come. Her mind was like a grove, woven from golden lustre. Each tree symbolized a different kind of experience, moving images hung from them like leaves, flowing and whispering at the edge of hearing, each in a different voice. Although I could not see their content, they all seemed more or less happy, and I wondered, where her bad experiences went. '_Somewhere deep under the surface, probably'_ I thought. _'Hidden from memory and sight.' _In the distance shone the walls of the lofty buildings, but I didn`t dare to venture any further.

We left her mind and proceeded to my barriers. They were not far from each other, like a synapse of two neurons, severed only by a cleft. I smiled inwardly, remembering my veterinary studies. Those were cool times.

My smile faded, when I saw, how many unguarded gaps appeared on my barrier. I forgot about the fact that it indicates my expansive mind. How could I have not seen it earlier? No wonder I felt so confused lately. Galadriel hovered nearby in silence, although her feä paled noticeably on the edges.

It took me a good moment to seal all those holes in my defence, although after few wrong tries it went quite smoothly. There were several of them, but bearing in mind that I was on Arda only a few months – a big number. I realized, with an unpleasant feeling, that I have to use parts of my own memory as a seal. I chose those I saw as not so important, but I still felt emptiness, when they dissipated into nothingness.

When I was done with that labour, I did as Galadriel told me and I cracked one seal open, like a swing door. I invited her in.

The music that reached us wasn`t sweet ringing of nature. The echoes of Sabaton and Judas Priest, mixed with Enya, Malukah and some high pitched cries smashed against us like a wave against the cliff. I felt her immense astonishment. I quickly turned off that cacophony, leaving only high pitched cries, which turned to be shouts of the falcon. I dismissed them too after a moment, because they began to irritate me and the silence fell. Yep. And mom warned my about cleaning my place before I invite anybody there. I suddenly missed my phone with collections of songs on it, which lay buried somewhere near the glade, where I appeared in this world. The phone and all of my other belongings, including "The Silmarillion" copy about which I tried to forget. _'You can`t go out of town, remember?'_ I thought bitterly.

Luckily Galadriel refrained from comment, guided perhaps by norms of politeness. She looked, as if it came to her with difficulty, but I was relieved. I have no wish to explain to her how the music straight from Angband appeared in my head.

_~ Now"_ she exclaimed, drawing my attention "_revise your mind carefully. Does something seem misplaced?"_

Visualization wasn`t my best side, so my mind resembled a tangled stands of loose thread, floating here and there in the emptiness. I was filled with panic at the thought that the elven lady might be able to see them. Quickly, I scattered the walls around us, forming something in shape of empty hall.

I myself plunged into the whirl of thoughts, searching... I did not know exactly what. Something out of place? Memories like memories – some better, others worse. A kaleidoscope of feelings, experience, beliefs, prejudices and complexes, most so hazy that they were nearly unrecognisable. A life. What can be out of place here?

But then, when I passed the point around which swirled echoes of the awful day, when I broke my leg, I sensed something. At first it was like light turbulence in the air, something stirring on the edge of sensing, so vague I wouldn`t catch it , were I not looking for it. Curious, I turned that way. There was no feeling of space nor time in this state, but the more I walked the stronger it get. Firstly I classified that feeling as unpleasant. Then I realized it resembles a smell of decay and not only smell, the feeling of slimy, warm touch of rotten, whitish meat itself. I shivered with disgust, but I knew I found what I was looking for. I continued onward, pushing the escalating feeling of nausea away.

When I thought I could not bear it any longer I reached the spot. At the sight of what I found there, I felt faint and took a step back in abhorrence.

It resembled some horrible organ, blackened and rotten, throbbing irregularly like some sick, twisted heart. It has grown deep into the structure of my subconscious, with plunging voracious roots. From its interior tentacles were protruding, flaccid and undulating – they were twitching jerkily, as if in posthumous spasms. That _being_ attracted toward its stray memories and on my eyes it caught one of them by looping around it a slippery limb, pulled it closer and devoured. Memory of sunny day I spent with my falcon flickered and extinguished, leaving only horrible hole. Then from being`s viscera emerged another, blackened and terrible, dripping with pain and blood. But it wasn`t the worst thing! The worst thing was that I considered it now as my own! I howled in helpless despair.

_~ What is this?" _I stammered, shaking. How could I not be aware of the presence of this creature! Nausea were getting stronger and stronger, so I backed yet another step. The abomination swallowed another memory. "_No, stop!"_ I bellowed, wanting to smash it, but it didn`t allow me to approach. It fluttered only with its whitish patches of rot, as if in cruel cackling. It boiled inside me, my feä had to shine with reddish glow, when I lunched forward like an enraged bull, determined to throw this thing out of my mind. Tentacle swing in my direction and I dodged. The stench of decay swirled around me, making me suffocate. I wanted to back up, but I did not know where, everything was shrouded with choking fumes and then the horror overcame me, when I started to lose consciousness. Lose consciousness, in my own mind? In a panic I sped backwards and by sheer luck I fell out of poisonous cloud. The gas dissipated, and again I could see the whitish carcass, which began to suck another piece of my personality, like a bloody dementor!

_~ Rovalhen" _Galadriel appeared suddenly in front of me, in a fountain of golden sparks. The fumes seemed to have no effect on her. The creature rolled up its swollen flaps, which proved to be its lips, revealing the twisted spiral of a throat, bristling with thousands of pins-like teeth and hissed protractedly.

_~ What is this!?"_ I exclaimed again, when I could already breathe ... think normally.

_~ This is a result of your struggle with the werewolf_," she said silently, and from her tone I learned she expected this. _"Part of his memories, which have penetrated your unprotected mind and focused in this eyesore. Should it stay here any longer, he will consume your personality, making you a monster our race have never known."_

Wonderful. At least she was honest.

~ _How can I get rid of this...__thing?" _I spit out the last word in the direction of swollen bulk. It didn`t look bothered. A drop of some liquid dripped from his tentacle on a self-styled floor, evaporating with an angry hiss.

_~ I can only guess, Rovalhen. I have heard of only one similar case and from that case I know what will happen to you if you do not destroy it"_ she said grimly.

~ _Well, can you tell me about your guesses_?" I asked her in not very polite tone.

Her feä wavered, but she didn`t look offended. ~ _You have to let yourself be swallowed and then fight off the memories that it will try to impose you. I believeit is the only way."_

Wonderful. Spectacularly. Valar, what a shit I have gotten myself into? And it was just a few months, for Eru`s sake!

I should probably be devastated, but frankly, I wanted to laugh sarcastically. Long life of an Elf! A good one!

I wanted to check on Alcar, talk to him, warn my companion that perhaps we are talking the last time ... but no, I would have to admit to myself then that I may not get out of this alive, and that I could not do.

~ _What I am to do, then?"_ I asked quickly, before my mind could comprehend the whole situation and devoid me of last scraps of courage.

_~ You need to provoke him to attack you mentally, at the deeper plain of your mind. Then you will see. Unfortunately, there is no way in which I could support you._" Her brilliance focused in on itself, as if she was the one who is bracing herself for deadly clash. ~ _Be strong, Rovalhen"_

~ _I will do my best_" I replied, but there was little confidence in my voice. Deeper plain of mind, huh?

I stared at the abomination. It opened its eyeless jaws and gurgled throatily, clearly sneering at me. I felt anger firing my innards and I focused on it, fuelling it even more, so that it burned out all other emotions. '_Come on'_ I encouraged myself. _'how are you to survive in this world if you can`t take control over your own mind?`_

With this oh-so-comforting thought in my head I fell on the intruder, suddenly spreading luminous wings and arranging my front streaks into talons. I cried in high-pitched voice, dodging tentacles and circling over creature`s jaws. If I understood correctly, that was only the higher plane of mental attack. I had to annoy him enough to assault me more deeply.

He was pissed, that was sure. It hissed, gurgled, swung with his tentacles, spreading around the poisonous mist, that made me change my position quickly, and droplets of venom, but nothing else. I was flying over it, dodging its tentacles and trying to dig my claws into the body, but to no avail. I began to lose hope in the success of this plan. What of provoking it if I will be too tired to give him adequate resistance?

I dove again and this time I managed to claw its bulk. Fountain of greenish fluid spurted on my wings, making it difficult for me to escape. I flew zigzag in horror between sweeping mass of tentacles, when a sudden mental blow of its bellowing smashed me hard, knocking me out of the flight. I felt as if wings has been torn from my back and I screamed in pain, failing, failing, failing into the endless abyss of my own mind. Then the actual attack came.

_Wrrrrrrrr! The smell, the smell! Mad, delightful fragrance! To chase, hunt down, sink fangs! The land stretches under the paws, fire burns viscera. There! I jump, obstructing his path. Human whelp! From my throat a growl issues forward, he raises a single talon, dull and heavy. I laugh hoarsely, sticking out a red tongue. Come on, mongrel, you have only one chance!_

The memory as clear as never before hit me with terrible force. I wanted to stand some resistance, but it was like resisting of a bird, kidnapped by a mountain stream. I fought with all my strength to keep my head above the surface.

_Whisk, the sword cuts through the air. Now my turn! Leap, swing of clawed paw, talon lying in the grass. Clumsy whelp, trying to back away, his blue eyes full of terror and tears._

No, I have to fight it. I'm not him! It is not me!

It is not a river that pulls me, the sand, an hourglass full of sand, each grain burns like fire, piercing my body, biting like maggots. I am spinning without sight, feeling, memory...

_I lunge forward, sinking my fangs into his side. Scream drills into my ears, I feel the vibrations of muscles howling with pain, being torn by my jaws. Monstrous joy rushes through my veins. Bone cracks, blood splashes, smacks the torn off meet. He falls, whites of his eyes flash, life is living them, when I clench his throat. Satiating prey. I devour it whole._

The wind, the wind from the wilderness tossed me down the rocky slope, as an avalanche of stones. I roll down, failing out of the overhang, smashing in the valley with crashing bones. Stones press against me with a clatter, burying me in oblivion, in unconsciousness.

I hung over cavernous chasm of ancient glacier impaled on an ice spike. Blood drips from my bare toes and down, on the band of poppies, growing on the icy shelf. Poppies lose their petals, they curl up into a soft fluff and fly away with the wind. Just like then, in the mountains...

A quiet glade, in the shadow of a giant poplar. The sun encircles its leaves with a golden light, and lies in a wavy sparkling on the surface of swift stream. I lie among the soft grass and fragrant flowers, chewing a sandwich with salmon and staring drowsily at my mother, who paints with colourful smudges the mountain landscape in the morning, her easel leaning against the trunk of the elder tree. Already the bluish slopes support the snow-white peaks, pine forest waves with dark green and the first trickles of a stream flow in a silvery streaks below.

_Wrau! Darkness falls over the clearing, wolf jumps on a woman at an easel, with bristling fur and cutting fangs. The fountain of red splashes on the overturned image and the echo of her scream lingers._

Darkness? Starlings are flying in flocks, and the shadow of hundreds of wings obscures the sun for a moment, beating and squawking. Scream? Mom is screaming with exasperation when her brush splatters red blot, instead of covering the meadow in poppies` petals. She asks dad to take some water from the stream - we will boil the soup over the fire. Dad goes with the pot, ptugging on her dark hair in passing. We are all laughing, together, a happy family.

_No! The stream turns into blackened tentacles that grab the man and hurl him against a rock. His skull smashes like a ripe plum, the wolf howling with delight, running with his hungry pack._

Tentacles? No, my dad slipped on a rock and fell into the stream, splashing water fountain. The pot flows away with a stream. Mom drops the brush, in a fit of laughter, and I get up as fast as I can and run in pursuit of the pot. I get him several meters away, where he stopped on a rock and I give it back to dad, grinning at him brazenly. He looks at me for a moment with a serious expression, then dips the pot into the water and pours its entire contents on my head. I scream in surprise, when the cold liquid freezes me, and I glare at him reproachfully, but moment after I start to flee when dad is chasing me with another pot full, roaring like a donkey. He catches my mom, who does not manage to move away in time. Mom looks like a floater now, dressed in thin rags of algae, and my father is standing over her with an empty bucket, chuckling.

_A floater jumps at the man, spreading out claws_. _She cuts through his chest like warm butter, crushes his bones and snatches out red, desperately beating heart. The blood, that could not be pumped out in time gushes from her fangs when she bites into a warm muscle. The man falls to the ground silently, his empty eyes stare into the void, uncomprehending. _

N-no...Now it is my dad who is backing up, raising his hands imploringly, with an expression of horror on his face when his wife walks menacingly towards him, lifting the bucket of a blood-red paint. Dad mumbles an apology, and mum stops suddenly, as if in surprise. She stands still for a moment, then sneezes mightily, and the whole red paint leaves bucket and lands with a majestic splash on the dad`s torso. My roar of laughter is suddenly silenced by glares, thrown to me by both parents.

The wolf growls in his throat with a low, startling growl, disrupting the rhythm of my heart that moves rapidly, urging oxygen and adrenaline to run faster. His fiery eyes blaze with a passionate hatred, a desire for revenge, and the terrible hunger that makes him bare his long, whitish fangs. Overgrown claws scratch the soil furiously, when he strides in a half-creep, skirting me, as it was by the caves. His coat fell away in places, exposing festering flesh.

_~ Enough" _his growl turns into this one short word heavy with mad fury_. „This territory is now mine, I will feast and plunder on its might. You shall be flattened and trampled like the vermin you are! Fawn to me, thou pitiful worm and I will release you to the land of my master. Dare to defy me and I shall devour your soul till nothing is left but shapeless scraps!"_

_~ Your master is long gone, poor hound" _I am calmer now, my heart slows, and I approach him cautiously. _„Your hate is pointless, your fight is fruitless. What use would you have of my body, beyond the ever tightening grip of sorrow and madness?"_

_~ These were your death words, two-legged vermin!" _he yips and jumps on me in one, springy leap.I do not back away, the space itself moves, throwing him into the void, where he crashes heavily. He scrambles up back to his feet and howls lingeringly, raising an elongated head in my direction and jumps again, only to be bounced off the invisible walls. He stops on the invisible barrier and hangs in the air in the tangle of paws and fur. He tosses desperately, but the walls keep him jammed in the narrow gap of transparent matter. Bloodshot eyes hurl thunderbolts, he snaps his jaws in hatred, but to no avail. In the end, he stops motionless in this twisted position, piercing me with his bloodthirsty glare.

I walk over to him, panting. I look deep into his eyes, slowly drawling words. ~ _This is my domain. You have no rights to it, mongrel of Morgoth. Your spirit shall now leave this place and you never again dare to tresspass on something that does not belong to you. I release you now, and you leave my mind, or I swear that you will miss the whips of your master."_

Then I bite him hard in the ear, go back two steps and I release the trap. The wolf falls on his mouth and gets up slowly, staggering on his paws. The heat shines in his eyes, he bends his legs, lay his ears down and starts to bare his fangs. I growl at him deep in my throat, baring my own teeth and bristling my fur. The wolf lowers his lip, sets up his ears and looks at me quizzically, like a dog.

~ _Leave..."_

The animals shakes his head, as if driving the flies away, then he turns around and trots quietly in the distance. He turns again, as if sniffing the air, then strides farther in the same direction. His silhouette blurs, black fur melts into the shadow, and the whole being dissolves into nothingness, as if it never existed. It is followed by a feeling of relief, emptiness and... regret. I close my eyes.

I open them.

I tumbled to the ground, as if some matter that was holding me was now released. My head was whirling, I stretched my hand to the side, looking for support. I touched a rough surface and leaned on it, getting up slowly. My head was strangely weightless.

When the world stopped to spin and my eyes adjusted to the strong, azure light, I saw Galadriel and Celeborn.

'_Well, it`s their cave' _I thought rather silly.

Celeborn looked from me to Galadriel, shaking his head. "You were gone for many hours..." voice died in his throat when he saw the Galadriel`s face.

She was standing bolt upright, her light eyes widened in utter disbelief. She looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time. Her brows were high up and she looked like she may stay that way. She was clearly in a deep shock, but did she really think my success that impossible?

"Galadriel, what has happened?" Celeborn asked her, touching her arm gently. "Did everything go all right?"

She looked at him with her eyes still full of shock. Then, to my horror, she whispered:

"She is a human."

Oh no.

"What?" grimaced Celeborn.

"She is… was a human" she repeated in such tone as if she could not believe her own words. "And she is not from Arda."

I`m dead right now.

Celeborn looked at me as if asking whether his wife has gone crazy. I opened my mouth to say something, but all the wise words somehow escaped my mind.

"Surprise?" I blurted out at last, shrugging with a crooked smile.


End file.
